


Bad Luck Follows

by Soloh



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 07:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14232171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soloh/pseuds/Soloh
Summary: They didn't like each other. Trouble always seemed to arise whenever Jamie and Claire's paths crossed but slowly their relationship was growing, a bond forming.





	1. Chapter 1

He was a farmer, Laird of Broch Tuarach and a lonely man. She was a widow, a tenant on his lands and English. They didn't get along.

Yet their paths always crossed. A broken fence, a broken finger. A leaky roof, an open wound. Trouble always seemed to arise whenever they were near each other, but he did his duty to help his tenant, albeit begrudgingly and she being a healer did hers. For nearly a year their relationship was this and nothing more to them but slowly it was growing, a bond forming.

\----  
Present day

James Fraser was riding his horse through the glade as he so often found himself doing these days, his thoughts muddled with redcoats and family woes. His mind so occupied he let his horse, Donas, lead him to wherever he pleased, finding a path that his master was most familiar with. By the time Jamie's horse came round the bend his mind snapped back to reality and gathered his surroundings. There was her cottage, an old home abandoned many a year ago and left to rot away without a loving touch until she came. The widow, the witch, the healer, she went by many names but to him she was simply the Sassenach.

As Jamie rode closer he felt a shiver run up his spine. He saw her for a split moment on the roof, her mop of brown curly hair spilling from her bun framing her face that held a satisfied smile.

"What in Gods name is that woman -" He didn't get to finish because said woman was rolling off the roof, landing on the ground with a heavy thud. Jamie kicked Donas on the side and raced to her, whipping his legs off once he reached her.

Claire was already sitting up, clutching her left arm and coughing from the dust his horse had kicked up. She tried to evaluate her injuries but her hair had fallen down and gathered in front of her face just so that even shaking her head side to side did nothing but cause the pounding in her head to intensify.

'At least my necks not broken,' she thought. 'Lucky it was a short drop.'

“Are ye alright, lass?” Jamie asked as he kneeled down to her.

“I've been better,I did just fall off a bloody roof is all," she replied through gritted teeth with more bite then she intended. She shook her head once more in a vain attempt to see past the wall of hair but gave up, becoming dizzy. " Where did you come from?"

“Passing by. Now sit still or you'll cause more damage to yerself.” He ordered. Jamie gathered her hair and pushed it aside then moved his hands to her arm, slowly feeling for a break but stopped once he saw blood flowing from her hand. “Ifrinn,” he muttered. The pounding subsiding in her head, Claire followed his gaze and saw a gash in her right hand, not even an inch wide but deep and oozing blood.

“I have to go to my surgery- my things -” Jamie quickly grabbed a grubby handkerchief from his pocket and before Claire could remark about the cleanliness of it, began to wrap it tight around her hand.

“What were ye doing on the roof, Sassenach?” Jamie chasitised, his grip on her wrist tightening.“ What possessed ye -”

“There was a bloody leak in my roof!" She spat, chin jutting out. "The same leak you were supposed to have fixed a month ago! For three days we've had rain and I've had the beginnings of a small pond in my home."

"Why in Gods name dinna ye ask for my help woman?" He gave her an exasperated look as he finished wrapping her hand tight, the blood seeping through slowly leaving a small patch of dark red against the old white fabric.

"I watched you the last time you 'fixed' it, and when the damn thing began to leak again I thought I could improve upon it." Claire was equally exasperated, holding her head high, her hair a mass of frizzy curls sticking up every which way and in no mood to be reprimanded by a damn Scot.

She removed her hand from his grasp and held it tight to lessen the flow of blood but only managed to pull at her arm. "Bloody H. Christ," she hissed.

"Aye, and now that ye've 'improved' upon it ye've broken yer arm and given yerself a nasty gash to boot. How you dinna break yer neck is Gods blessing." Or the devils he briefly thought, holding back a smirk.

“Your legs, can ye stand?”

Claire moved her legs a bit and felt around her sides to take in stock of any other breaks. Finding none but aches she gave a weary nod to Jamie, finding no joy in needing his help, who carefully held her up. She swayed feeling light headed, her bruised legs straining but stayed on her feet (she would suffer no more embarrassment by being carried) with Jamie's arm locked across her waist, keeping her steady.

\----

They walked through the back door of her kitchen that doubled as her surgery and Jamie settled her on a chair while he searched for her medicine box.

“Where's yer wee box, Sassenach? Ach, never mind, I see it." He found her 'wee' box on the table by the shelf and began looking for proper bandages and the vial of liquid that burned to high heaven. 'Aye,' he thought thinking about all the times she doctored him, 'I may enjoy this.'

Jamie was taking things out and rearranging them in the wrong order, causing Claire's teeth to go on edge. She stood up and shakily walked towards him determined to patch herself up before the oaf in front of her caused any more disorder.

"You don't have to- no that's not how- Mr. Fraser, your making more of mess than me and I'm spilling blood all over my floors."

Jamie looked up from her box. It was an over statement but aye, she was making a small mess on her sleeve and turning a bit pale too.

"Have a seat Sassenach or you'll be addin' a cracked skull to yer list of injuries." He pulled the chair out for her to sit and if she hadn't been swaying he was sure she would've knocked him one. Instead Claire settled for a glare and with her hair in a great riot and blood on her person she did rather look like a warrior back from battle. 'Do.not.test.me,' the glare implied.

Jamie adjusted the collar of his shirt and pulled out his flask of whisky and handed it to her. Claire looked dubiously at it. She had her own stock, good too, but the whisky was there in front of her and.. Oh she might as well. She drank a generous amount letting the amber liquid warm her to the bone. His was better. Claire gave him his flask back ignoring his smug grin.

“Now, tell me what to do and try not to enjoy it too much.” He strained to keep the corner of his lips from curling, very aware that her good hand was near her wee knives.

'Damn him for finding this amusing.'

Claire sat up straight as a rod, readying herself. “I could say the same to you." She replied haughtily.

“Now, first off you must clean the wound. Yes, with that vial there.”

\---

Jamie's workmanship would leave a scar she noted but overall it wasn't a bad job for a man with big hands. He seemed rather pleased with himself after it was all over, though the actual stitching up process had him less so. He had showed a thoughtful concern for her that was surprising and irritating all at once, always double checking with her to see if he was doing it right, making the whole process longer than necessary.

Her left arm, thankfully wasn't broken. 'Damn lucky,' Jamie had remarked but she did have a nasty sprain with deep bruising that covered her whole arm. With Claire's guidance once more he wrapped her arm and made a sling for her with the same gentleness he displayed with her hand.

Claire was rubbing her arm as she watched Jamie, his shoulders were their usual straight broad set, sleeves rolled up as he put the last log in the fire with a frown on his face. 

“Have ye no more wood, Sassenach?” His voice softer, holding less of the bite that she was used to.

“I hadn't the opportunity to cut any, what with the rain and all, Mr. Fraser.” Her own voice echoing his, her body feeling the gentle lull of the whisky she drank earlier. But her amber eyes cut into his daring him to argue with her.

Jamie stretched his back and sighed before heading out the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To cut wood,” he declared flatly. “Or should I leave ye, an injured lass to do it?” And with that out the door he went.

Turning to the back of her house Jamie could see Donas, who, having free reign from his master, had round the side of the cottage where Claire's garden lied, gorging himself on her herbs and greens.

"Right, double the wood then ya wee bastard." Jamie sighed, rubbed his shoulder and got to work.

\---

Jamie brought in the last log, placing it softly by the fireplace, careful to not disturb Claire. She had dozed off, moving to a more comfortable chair across from the warm fire he had stoked for her, her blanket falling off one shoulder. She was a sight when not cross with him. Her hair was still a great storm, bits of leaves in spots with the fire dancing over her curls giving them a richer shade. Her face was peaceful, the color returning to her cheeks, her chest rising gently with every breath. Quite comely, Jamie admitted, gazing at her.

He pulled the corner of the blanket back on her shoulder, removing a few leaves from her hair and let her be. He crossed the room to wash his hands in the basin, careful of his footsteps. But Jamie was a big man and careful as he was the floorboards were old and creaky.

Claire woke with a start at the noise but settled when she saw Jamie's familiar russet hair, damp from the excursion . “Mr. Fraser you're still here.” Claire held a hand to her chest to steady it.

“Aye, just finished yer wood stock. I'll be outta yer hair after I wash up," Jamie said making quick work of scrubbing the dirt from his hands.

Claire shook her head, without, thankfully any of the dizziness. “I only meant that I'm glad you hadn't left yet so I could thank you properly, you've done so much for me -” that's when Claire noticed the water he had put to boil. “That too?”

“For your washin,” Jamie stated simply.“It's my duty to ye - to all my tenants," he quickly corrected, "to help where I can and ye needed it today, Sassenach" Jamie finished washing, drying his hands on his kilt.

“Yes and I'm grateful, Mr. Fraser, I don't know how I would have managed stitching myself up in my state,” Claire said flexing her fingers of her stitched up hand. “Much less wood chopping and hauling water. “

About managing, Sassenach.” Jamie walked over to where she sat, tapping his fingers against his leg, "I was thinkin' I could send wee Rabbie to tend to ye, starting today, till ye get back proper use of yer arm. He's a braw lad, good in the kitch as he is in the fields too. Maybe Mrs. Fitz if ye prefer."

“Mr. Fraser thank you truly for all that you've done but I don't need the help. I have full function of all my limbs but one, I can manage.” Really now I'm not an invalid.

Jamie eyed her up and down, skeptical of her being able to make it to bed. “Think of it as payment for my tending to ye, Sassenach. Besides, your full of whisky and feeling light as a cloud, but come morning lass ye will be aching from head to toe and won't be leavin' that bed." I ken your capable but don't be fool heided.

Claire mulled over his words. He was right and just the thought of having to tend to all her chores…  
"As you wish, Mr. Fraser," Claire agreed. "I think I may need the help for a couple days. Thank you."

"Good. I thought I'd have to convince ye with one of our more livelier debates but I'm glad the fall gave ye some good sense." Jamie teased.

"Bastard." It held only mild irritation but strongly of familarity. "When I'm better I'll give you an earful if you wish." And with that she couldn't help but smile at him.

"I'd expect nothing less from ye, Sassenach." As Jamie walked towards the door Claire noticed him grabbing his shoulder.

"Is your shoulder bothering you? I have some oil on the top shelf that will be of use." Claire was already out of her seat, the dull ache in her legs fading away. Before she could pull out the little stool she used, Jamie reached over from behind her, his shirt brushing against her allowing Claire to inhale his musky scent, and grabbed the familiar brown bottle and tucking it in to his sporran. She turned around to face him mildly, flustered.

"Ye don't rest do ye, Sassenach, bloodied and bruised as ye are." A smile crossed his features in amusement making his clear blue eyes crinkle in the corners. Claire's cheeks glowed a soft shade of pink. He could be attractive when the occasion called for it, Claire mused.

"I know no other way to be, Mr. Fraser, it's who I am." Jamie did know all too well.

"Always head first, Sassenach." Jamie said shaking his head. He saw in her what had been in him as a lad. He had learned better, he thought grimly. "I better not hear from wee Rabbie you've been missusin' that arm of yers or you'll be the one gettin' the tail end of my tongue, ken?"

Almost attractive. Claire rolled her eyes. "Mr. Fraser I wouldn't dream of repeating the days events with you as my 'hero'."

"Then we agree."Jamie ignored her remark and made for the door but hesitated. 'End it on a good note, Fraser.' he sighed.

Jamie turned back to face her."Good evenin' to ye then and I hope the 'morrow is a better day for ye. Sleep well and thank ye for the oil, it will do me good as it always does."

'End it on a good note, Beauchamp.'

"Thank you, Mr. Fraser. Safe ride home." Claire nodded to him as he closed the door and made her way to her room. She looked at herself in her mirror and saw a Medusa staring back at her.“Jesus .H… he'll never let this go will he?” She took a hand through her tangled hair and pulled out a small twig.

"Oh, bollocks!"


	2. mini-chapter

While Claire was healing she had very few patients, most people in the area had heard of her little fall from a certain blithering ass of a redhead and let her be. Only wee Rabbie, with instructions from Jamie to tend to her, had been her company. They hadn't seen each other within that time but knew about the happenings in the others lives from Rabbie being the go between. Neither had asked him for details but when Rabbie would bring up the other, no matter how trivial, Jamie and Claire didn't dissuade him.

\-----

Rabbie was a sweet lad with short brown hair and a splatter of freckles that covered his young face, who would come early in the morning and leave only after he made sure all was well with her. It was the in between that Claire found out that wee Rabbie liked to talk. Being a Scot he was a natural story teller, but for him it border lined on gossip. He'd relate to Claire about the goings on with his families farm, his many brothers and sisters and the depths of drama that kept Claire entertained in the quiet mornings. It was the subject of Jamie that had her unexpectedly all ears.

It had been a week since her fall and Rabbie had been sweeping her floors, getting Claire's home ready for the day when he brought up the laird and his escaped sow. That had sent a cold jolt through her. It was a hefty piglet that had been gifted to Claire for her services and then given to Jamie's cook, a lovely woman named Mrs. Fitz some months ago, for she had no need for one.

' _One more bloody thing for him to hold against me,_ ' Claire moaned inwardly.

Rabbie had gone into great detail, stopping what he was doing to give the story justice. Jamie's fearsome sow, as Rabbie put it had gotten loose from her pin and was raising hell, biting and chasing anyone or thing that got in her path. Jamie and his farm hands were running all over trying to catch her without loosing a finger. Jaime had got the upper hand and with a broom had cornered her against a wall. But the beastly thing was having none of it and charged at him with a guttural screech. Jamie had nearly toppled over himself trying to get away, jumping on top of the wooden fence as if the devil himself was after him.

“Tha laird was howlin' somethin' awful trynna keep tha sow from chompin' at his feet." Rabbie recalled, his face scrunched up at the memory. "But it was my da who threw the rag o'er her eyes and he and the others tackled her. She's a large bessom, biggest I seen, mam." Rabbie stretched his arms out in front of him. "And tha' is joost her rear."

Claire was in a fit of giggles, grabbing her sides (for they still ached) thinking of the tall strength of the man, James Fraser, running for his life out of fear over a pig.

"Dinna tell the laird I told ye, Mistress." Rabbie was regretting his words now and if his father found out that he was gossiping about the laird of all people…

“I solemnly swear the laird will not hear this from me.” Claire held up her good arm, barely containing the giggles that were spilling out. She now had some good dirt on the man to combat his retelling of her fall and tucked that bit of information away.

"Now what else has the laird been up to?"

\---

Jamie was digging away at the base of an old tree stump with wee Rabbie when he got his dose of storytime from him. But this piece of conversation was deliberate. According to Rabbie, Claire had still been open to seeing patients but most had kept away giving her time to heal, leaving Claire idle. 'A dangerous thing,' Jamie noted with a laugh. But her sole visitor that day had been from Laoghaire Mackenzie. That name alone was enough to stop Jamie cold.

She had come midmorning, dressed in light blue that complimented her blonde hair that had been tied up with a pink frayed bow and was fidgeting from foot to foot at the doorway.

"Tha outhouse is joost behind ye, ken?" Rabbie had informed her, not wanting her to dirty up the floor he had just cleaned. Laoghaire's face turned beet red, nostrils flared and her mouth opened for a lashing that would've reminded Rabbie why he wanted to be a monk when Claire came up behind him and promptly shooed him out. Not one for being discouraged he pressed his ear to the door. If it was something bad he'd leave her be, if it was something good, well…

"Tha lass wanted a love potion, said she needed somethin' ta encourage a beau of hers," Rabbie said, his eyes rolling.

"Is there such a thing, laird, as a love potion? I wouldna hope so if a lass were ta try it on me but my gran says the sassenach is a witch an -" Rabbie stopped in mid sentence, his mouth going dry and his heart thumping heavy against his chest. The laird had stopped his digging and stood to his full height over Rabbie, his blue eyes flaring into a glare of a dark storm.

"I've told ye to watch your tongue lad when it comes to that word, aye? I will not hold with cheap gossip of that kind." His voice was low, under tight control with each word hitting hard.

"I-I'm sorry my laird, forgive me?" Rabbies shoulders were slumped, his head down to his chest, waiting for a thrashing. Jamie felt a deep shame at frightening the boy and calmed himself. He bent down to him, lifting Rabbie's head gently with his forefinger. When they're eyes met he gave the lad a reassuring smile to ease him and in return Rabbie beamed his toothy grin.

"Forgiven lad but ye know how dangerous that word is and to even accuse someone-"

"But I wasna! Yer sassenach is sa kind and sa lovely and smells good too and I don't care if she'sa wi-mmm." Rabbie drew his lips in tight but seeing the confused look on Jamie's face relaxed.

"My Sassenach?" Jamie asked, his eyebrows shooting up and face tuning a light shade of pink.

"That's what gran says. And Mam and Mr.Duncan and.."

"Alright! Back to work. I wanna eat before day turns to night." He gave Rabbie's arm a squeeze, grabbed his shovel and set himself back to task, back to what wee Rabbie had begun to tell him. Laoghaire.

His sister, Jenny had been deadset on him marrying the lass, any lass really since their father had passed two years ago. They hadn't been on the best of terms since but now it was starting to rear up again. She thought marrying him off would set him straight, move his life forward like marrying his friend Ian had done for her, but he wanted no part in her meddling. He knew his path since their brother Wille had died, since their fathers death and would follow how he saw fit. How he knew his father would deal with the pressures of being laird. By himself.

But now she was engaging with the lass telling her God knows what of some fabricated affection he had for her and involving the Sassenach. Lord, what she must think. He wouldn't hear the end of this would he? The thoughts swirled in his mind jumping from pale blonde lasses to men in red, then landing on a pair of rich whisky eyes and escalating to the point that he didn't notice that he was digging wildly away until he flung a hard object into poor Rabbie's face knocking him down.

"A Dhia! Are ye hurt, bhalaich?" Jamie pulled the boy up and held Rabbie by his shoulders trying to meet his eye but Rabbie was more concerned with the object that had been hurled at his head.

“Laird, whats tha'?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off THANK YOU to all the wonderful amazing comments on my very first chapter! You don't know the amount of anxiety I had posting it (I hit the post without preview and it was like accidently hitting the send button to a crush. I shut my computer off and didn't breath for the rest of the day).
> 
> So this was originally suppossed to be the beginning of chaper 2 but I just couldn't get the flow right and decided it worked better as an interlude of sorts. I don't love this chapter (it's been a headache for me for a week and it's really just some set up and getting Claire ready to go) but at the suggestion of the Amazing LadyRevolution I've tweaked the ending of this and chapter 2 ( which is ready to go if I could just make a final decision on two pieces of dialogue) and I think it flows better.
> 
> Hopefully you all like wee Rabbie. He just wouldn't leave my head for this chapter.
> 
> As always please give all the opinions, good, bad whatever. Writing is new to me and I'm full of nerves.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been my Everest and I'm just going to be brave and post it. I want to move forward with the story so here ya go faults and all.

Claire woke up that morning knowing full well that this day was not meant for puttering around the house or one more damn stroll in her garden. Her bruises were gone, her arm was out of it's sling and her hand had healed nicely. She was fully healed and ready to meet the day head on. Claire grabbed her cloak and medicine box and for the first time in nearly two weeks left her house, past the garden patch without a glance back. It was a bright sunny day with a cool breeze and though she wished no harm to her neighbors, she hoped for something spine tingling, rousing. _'Nothing too bad, just a scratch… that needs stitches. Or a leg needing to be reset, that would be just about heaven. I wonder what Mr. Fraser is up to,_ ' she thought with a laugh and down the road she went to make her rounds.

 

\----

 

It was the biggest boil she had ever seen, Claire concluded, wiping her brow.

 

Mr. McNab had seemed quite in awe of the size of the growth, proud almost, but it was a nasty looking thing protruding from his leg. When Claire pulled out her roll of leather that contained her knives he suddenly realized the benefits of such an oddity. The stories he could tell...

 

“Maybe I could rub some oil on it mistress? Wouldna want to distress ye, being that yer barely on yer feet.” He eyed her knives wondering which one she would use. The curved one? The one with jagged teeth? Or maybe a small saw? Did she have one?

 

“Well, if you want to baste it, fine but there's only one way to deal with a boil this size and that's with a simple cut and drain, Mr. McNabb." Claire noticed his face going to ashes and tried to give him some comfort the best way she knew for a man. She let him have the bottle of whisky until his nose went red.

 

“Alright, Mr. McNab, let's get to it shall we?”

 

“Aye, ba dinna 'ell da missus 'bout -” he lifted the bottle of whisky and smiled sheepishly as he downed another dose. Doctors orders, ken?

 

\-----

 

De-boiled, cleaned and thouroughly soused, Mr. McNab was sleeping peacefully on the floor of his kitchen which he assured her was fit for the Bonnie Prince. If that was a good thing or bad she didn't know. Claire couldn't move him if she tried and when Mrs. McNab came in she saw it as just another day, used to her husband on the floor. Claire washed her tools and hands and after gave Mrs. McNabb instructions for when her husband would wake.

 

“Now remember, if the incision begins to turn red and his skin becomes hot to touch call for me and make sure he doesn't pick at it, that's how it got as big as it did.”

 

"Aye, Mistress but I trust your hand as a healer. There's naught to worry about but I'll keep an eye on him."

 

Claire was given the payment of a bag of apples. Quite delicious she noted with a full mouth, better then the customary veg she had been receiving. She took her leave with a goodbye to the family, the large brood had been waiting outside during the procedure with wee Rabbie peaking through the window narrating the 'gruesome' scene and were now all hovering over their inebriated father.

 

Claire walked out to the smell of clean, slightly damp air and a sight that sent her good mood plummeting to her feet. She came to see Mr. Fraser on his devil of a horse coming up the path to the front of the house, locking eyes with hers, then glancing around for trouble that was always soon to follow. It was Claire who spoke first. “Good to see you Mr. Fraser, its been some time." She straightened her skirt out and walked closer to him, minding Donas.

 

"How's the shoulder? I hope you've been tending to it properly.” Jamie was still on his horse making Claire look up and shield her eyes. She saw he was wearing his leather coat that accented his broad shoulders and breeks that showed the long cut of his legs. His auburn hair was tussled from the wind making his naturally wavy hair even curlier, sticking out in bits with the sun bouncing off it making it look like a living flame. Claire felt a bit flushed. ' _Something must be in the air_ ,' she reasoned.

 

“I'm well, Sassenach. The oil ye gave me did me well and had me reeking to high heaven." Jamie made an exaggerated face. "The pigs were jealous,” he added. A flash of Jaime, arms flailing, running away from a massive pig had Claire in stitches. _'Control yourself Beauchamp, save it for the next time he gets high and mighty.'_ Claire tried to stop her laughing and failed miserably but Jaime just assumed she was laughing at his joke and laughed along with her.

 

“I hear from wee Rabbie you've healed well and seein' ye now, ye look-" bonny, "very well, Sassenach."

 

“You talk to him about me?" Her eyes narrowed ready to pounce but she took a hand to her hair hoping to tame the nest.

 

“Just to know how ye are.” Jamie shifted in his saddle uncomfortably.

 

“You could have stopped by, Mr. Fraser and seen me for yourself instead of having wee Rabbie be your spy.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him, enjoying making him squirm.

 

“I didna- what I meant was - ” he closed his eyes, _'Breathe man and get out wit it.'_

 

“I actually came to see ye -”

 

There was a crack of sound in the air startling them both followed by a light drizzle of rain that broke the tension and had them pulling the hoods over their heads."You can't blame that one on me." Claire remarked pulling her cloak tight to her chest. "Think mother nature is at fault here, this is Scotland.” However Jamie threw a suspicious look her way but settled himself. He came out all this way for a reason, her.

 

"Ye can't travel in the rain even if its naught but a drizzle. Come," Jamie said, extending his hand to her," I shall take ye home and I want no argument."Claire eyed Donas, having little faith in the beast. “Dinna fash, Sassenach, ye have nothing to fear as long as I have the reins.”

 

The cool air was settling now and sent a shiver up Claire's spine. It was just sunny two minutes ago. Damn Scottish weather!

 

Claire sighed, “Alright, Mr. Fraser, my life is in your hands.”

 

"Tis how its been since we met, aye?" Claire rolled her eyes but there was truth to what he said. Jamie had given her a home, something she never had and a second chance at life. "Come now, before I change my mind." Claire took his hand and slid back into the saddle against him, a good fit. Jamie wrapped his arms around her to grab the reins but kept his arms tight about her just in case Donas' jealous streak kicked in.

 

  
\---

 

The rain halted not 15 minutes after their departure from the McNabb's home but neither made a move to stop their journey, there was still the cold wind to contend with and the mud to trod through... Instead they rode in companionable silence, which could only last so long for there was a problem. Jamie could feel the shape of her through her cloak as she jostled against him, her soft curly locks loosening from her bun, tickling his face. She smelled like the earth itself and had a spicy herbal scent about her with a whiff of whisky that tinged his nose leaving the bottom of his belly to flip in response. It was involuntary he told himself, but if she continued pushing her arse against him like that-

 

His breath hitched and he made to clear his throat.

 

“Are you coming down with a cold as well, Mr. Fraser?" Claire asked, her voice tinged with concern as she turned her head towards him.“Your breathing sounds troubling.”

 

He put a smile on to try to encourage her he was well but she gave a skeptical cock of an eyebrow.

 

“What, Sassenach, do ye plan on doctoring me on my horse?”

 

Claire did just that and Jamie had barely enough to put a halt to Donas.

 

She twisted, pushing up against him more than she had been and stretched her arm towards him. With the back of her palm she felt his cheek, it was stubbled from a skipped shave that morning, she observed as her finger tips lightly skimmed him from cheek to chin and back. Jamie was very warm, his cheek and ears were turning a vivid shade of pink and his breathing was becoming heavier as well.

 

“I'm no sick, Sassenach, just a bit tired from the days work," Jamie stuttered out as her hand on his cheek lingered. "Truly, now turn yer head back round," Jamie said cocking his chin to the road, "and let's get to yer cottage."

 

Claire let out a sigh, pulling her hand away, almost regretfully and turned back round but the conversation wasn't over. If the dolt wanted to get sick it wouldn't be under her watch.

 

  
\---

 

 

They made their way down the path that led to the old cottage, stopping far enough to ensure that Donas kept his nose out of Claire's garden patch. Jamie gave her a hand as she dropped from his saddle onto the soft muddy ground beneath her feet.

 

“Alright, Sassenach, now -”

 

“Come, Mr. Fraser, before that cold of yours turns into pneumonia. Hurry now." Claire narrowed her eyes at him, hands on hips tapping her foot.

 

“I'm no sick and I'm no stepping into that house of yers. The roof'll cave in on my heid or the floor will fall through or the -” Jamie struggled to find a way out of the situation forgetting his reason for even seeking Claire out.

 

“If not here then I'll go to Lallybroch and inform Mrs. Fitz of how your unwell and refusing medical treatment for - I don't know why and will see how you are then shall we?” She crossed her arms and waited for Jamie's response. “Your choice, Fraser.”

 

“A dhia” he sighed in defeat, head down as he followed her in ducking his head lest he hit it on the door frame.

 

\-----

 

  
Jamie sunk down in the kitchen chair watching Claire as she moved around the room, removing her cloak and placing her bags of apples on the table to the side. She was in her element and had a grace about her as she gathered items from the contents of her medicine box.

  
“So what made you seek me out and face utter misfortune today, Mr. Fraser?” Claire teased, looking at him from the corner of her eye, a smug smile on her lips. She came and placed her hand back on his face, this time to his forehead smoothing his locks from his brow. She could smell the musky heat of him mixed with hay and the unmistakable scent of horse, but it was not altogether unpleasent.

 

“Well,” he started sheepishly, dragging his fingers through his hair before returning it to his side, " I was diggin' out an old tree stump when I found this-" Jamie pulled out his satchel and opened it to reveal a large gnarled root. "It looked like something ye grind in yer mortar so I brought it to ye thinking maybe ye could use it somehow," Jamie held it up to her, searching her face for a reaction. “A plaster may be or one of yerr wicked concoctions ye forrce down the thrroat. ” He rolled his R's heavy hoping to get a reaction from her. Was she pleased?

 

“You brought me a gift,” she stated softly to herself, noticeably touched by the gesture. "Artium Lappa," she explained. Jamie watched as Claire took the root from his hands. She held it up to the light as if it were a precious gem, admiring the root for all the abilities it held, turning it round and round in her hands before scratching the outer surface of it and bringing it to her nose to smell its earthy fragrance. She scrunched her nose up and frowned.

 

“Ach, is it bad then? Rotten? Or maybe the wrong kind-”

 

"No, not at all it's just pungent, quite awful really,” she assured him and brought it to her nose for another whiff, inhaling deeply. "But the stronger the smell the more effective the remedy, as I've been known to say." She rubbed her nose to rid the odor away and her sweet smile returned to her face.

 

“I believe I've been on the tail end of that old proverb from ye before. So I did good?"

 

“Quite good. I can't remember the last time someone gave me a selfless gift." Claire smiled shyly.

 

_Shit._

 

“Now, to see what's ailing you, Mr. Fraser.” Claire placed the root on the table and pulled out a piece of parchment from her desk and began to roll it.

 

“About the root- Sassenach I -”

 

“Shush.” Her breath tickled his neck, smelling faintly of apples and leaving a row of goosebumps down his spine and leaving a wave of warmth that shot straight to his wame. ‘Hurry lass and be done with it,’ he prayed through clenched eyes.

 

“Your breathing is a bit fast but your lungs are clear, no sign of labouring- and so help me James Fraser if you say I told you so I may just throttle you.”

 

“I wouldna think of it, what with yer wee stabbers out. No, what I was going to say was that my gift to ye was not entirely innocent." He bowed his head, his fingers drumming against the table.

 

"I wanted to ask about the lass who visited ye naught a week ago, Laoghaire Mackenzie."

 

"And you thought to bribe me for information? Honestly, do you think so little of me?" Claire sunk down in the chair beside him. She didn't know if she were more amused, upset or disappointed.

 

“Forgive me, Sassenach, but I- my sister and I-” Jamie couldn't bring himself to speak of his quarrels with his sister for that would only bring up his father. Claire had known about their history from the bits she heard from people and was respectful enough not to ask for details. It wasn't her place to pry. But she did know they had issues.

 

"She has it in her head that I must marry and that the lass will be the Lords blessing to me and our family." Jamie's face was flushed from embarrassment but mostly from pure exasperation." I've told her often enough to keep her beak out of my affairs but now I see I have no other choice but to ask for yer assistance."

 

"My assistance? Do you care for the girl?" Claire's heart began to beat rapidly against her chest and she had an absurd thought that the man in front of her could hear it trying to break free of it's restraints.

 

"No." His tone was gentle but flat. "Before my father passed he had been eyeing the lass for me, someone to keep me rooted to these lands but I was having none of it. I wanted to travel to see a bit of the world, to escape responsibility for a brief moment." He was still looking down at his hand on the table the drumming ceasing." And I did. Now he's gone and Jenny wants what my father wanted for me, a simple lass for a simple life." Jamie finished sharply.

 

Claire looked at Jamie, his body still, his features blank in a carefully schooled mask and his eyes glued to the table. She hesitated, but reached for his hand. It was lightly callused, warm and large with the back of it dusted with ruddy hair. It wasn't the first time she had touched his hand but it was the first time she held it.

 

"I don't have any family Mr. Fraser. My parents passed when I was five, my only uncle four years gone now and -" she trailed off, her confidence yielding. Claire had her own past that she'd rather forget. But she had to forge forward.

 

"I mean to say," Claire began softly with a shaky voice, "that I know what it's like to live a life that never seemed like your own. To walk around aimlessly trying to find any bit of substance to fill in the cracks but it only seems to reinforce how broken you are," she finished weakly, not sure if she was making any sense.

 

Claire made to release his hand but Jamie flipped it so his palm enclosed over hers and began to lightly stroke the base of her thumb with the scar, back and forth to calm her. His eyes never leaving their entwined hands, taking in the rarity of the intimacy of it and how small and soft Claire's hand was compared to his. It was strangely comforting how such a small act soothed them both that it was a time before either felt a need to speak.

 

Claire squeezed his hand. "She asked for you- Laoghaire. Apparently she's under the impression were quite friendly with each other." She cleared her throat, cheeks inflamed but their hands stayed glued together with Jamie still tracing her palm." I told her what I know of you. That your difficult, stubborn as a damn mule and- and I know we've never talked about this, Mr. Fraser- Jamie," she whispered his name causing Jamie to finally meet Claire's eye. He felt his heart race with an unexpected thrill at hearing his name spoken with her English lilt."I said it would be ill fated, a union between you two and for her own sake she should look elsewhere for a beau. So I gave her a bottle of nonsense and showed her out." Claire was utterly embarrassed, almost to the point of sick. She remembered her words to the girl had fallen from her lips without conscious thought and how Laoghaire stared at her not in broken-heartedness but of bitter, newfound determination.

 

“You werena wrong.” Jamie leaned in to her, grasping both of her hands now. "I'm no one's ideal match. All I have is an empty title and a strong back but not much else." he hesitated before he continued, forgetting who he was with, but the words, emotions were cascading from his mouth."I-I'm a dissapointment to Jenny and the memory of our parents. I see it in her eyes, the way she avoids me."

 

Claire slipped her hand from his grasp to lightly caress his cheek, her fingers feather light on his skin.

 

“Whatever you think of yourself and despite what I may call you to your face - or behind it," Jamie smiled weakly at that, "you are a good man to an annoying fault and there aren't many like you in this world. Believe me, I've traveled to a good many places and have met every walk of man.” Jamie leaned into her cool hand as if it were a salve.

 

“You've calmed my mind, Sassenach, I thank ye for taking pity on me.”

 

“Not pity. Never. It's what friends do.” Claire tugged at his auburn locks for emphasis. Jamie scrunched his face in mock pain.

 

“Friends, aye? Is that what we are?” Jamie tugged at one of her own curls and marveled at how it sprung back when he released it. A true curly wig.

 

"Well, what would you say we are then?" They stared at one another, becoming very aware of how much they were touching each other with ease.

 

"I dinna ken. But if ye are a friend then may I ask," Jamie leaned in close enough to her that she could feel his breath tickle her cheek, "What sorta things do ye say behind my back?" She let out a belly laugh and pushed the escaped lock away from her face.

 

"That you are a most ridiculous man." Claire's face was glowing and Jamie didn't know when he had seen her so happy.

 

“If I'm ridiculous then yer a foolish women for puttin' up with me.”

 

“I suppose I am.”

 

Jamie stroked her palm one last time and stood to leave, immediately missing her warmth, leaving him puzzled. Before he could bid her goodbye she spoke before him.

 

"Mr. Fraser, about the assistance you asked for, what were you trying to bribe me for?" Claire was curious about what Jamie needed, surely it wasn't just information on the girl.

 

"Ack, well," Jamie rolled his shoulder and adjusted his collar clearly uncomfortable with the subject, "I was hoping that maybe ye would tell my sister that I wasna fit to be ahusband...in the way that matters, ken?" He wanted the roof to cave in now, skull shatteringly hard.

 

Claire was too shocked to laugh, instead her mouth was left gaping wide. "You mean -"

 

"I was desperate! That's why I brought ye that eyesore of a root and risked bodily injury seeking ye out. I needed Jenny to leave me be. There are more pressing things for me to worry about then marriage." Jamie couldn't meet her eye and paced the room.

 

"I can see that. Really though is marriage so bad?" Claire's thoughts slipping to her past briefly, of an older man with soft hazel eyes. She stopped herself and focused back at the large Scot pacing in front of her, his anxiety distracting her from her own.

 

"Nay, but the lass is sweet and tender hearted, I couldna have her marry a brute."

 

_'Tender hearted my foot! Maybe the two blind dimwits deserve each other.'_

 

"Do you still need my assistance in that area?" She was too amused for her own good Jamie thought. The smirk on her face guaranteed this wasn't the last he would be hearing of this.

 

"No. It was mistake to ask ye and I hope this counts as one of yer 'confidential' meetin's. Besides, ye might have set her straight for me."

 

"Maybe, but she seemed awfully determind to win your heart." Jamie groaned and rubbed his face with his hands at the thought.

 

“Well, good luck then with your marriage woes, Mr. Fraser and," Claire paused, wondering if she should press on the matter, but continued, "Talk to your sister, even if it's like screaming to a redheaded wall, no matter how painful the conversation, she's all you have left," she quickly stood, fearing reprimandment from poking her own beak into his affairs and walked him to the door. "Now watch your head on your way out.”

 

"A loud, intimidating, long winded wall indeed, Sassenach."Jamie's lips curled up but his eyes held a sadness. He dipped his head below the frame, avoiding a smacked forehead but paused at the door.

 

"What was in the bottle ye gave to the lass, Sassenach, if ye don't mind me asking?"

 

"The most important ingredient in a love potion, Mr. Fraser, shit."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've done two rewrites, a third tweaking abut I still think the writing is wonky (the formatting on this site is weird and looks different from what I intended). But I started getting too nervous about the quality and wanted to gage your guys' interest and to see if I was going in a direction you all liked. This chapters main arc on the second draft was about the fallout of Jenny and Jamie over Brian Frasers death and how they hadn't spoken to each other in two years, with Jenny living with Ians family. But I thought that was too heavy for a second chapter so I lightend it up and at LadyRevolutions suggestion (Thank you again!) put Leghair instead. The frame of the J/J story is still there and will be dealt with but I think this has a better fit now. The only thing thats different now is the ending dialogue containing references to Leghair. I was too attatched and too frustrated to change the J/C dialogue so hopefully that meshes well but I'm worries that it's too intimate for the two. It worked better when their conversation was soley about Brian Fraser and Jenny but...no going back now :) I just hope you enjoy what I've written and I'm sorry if this wasn't to your liking. (still learning the writing ropes)
> 
> Secondly the medical jargon...don't take it to heart. I imagined a root that looked like a turnip and wrote the scene knowing I had to do some research later. Well, I had to find a medicinal root that grew in Scotland and all I found was the burdock (not round at all). It looks like a large carrot. I had also written it to smell awful but found out it had the opposite smell, but I liked the imagery (it reminded me of when Claire tasted the urine at L'Hospital, these things don't faze her) so all you herbalist and what nots don't kill me for fudging of logic here, please. Also boils can get really gnarly looking if left to fester and be happy that I didn't go into detail. 
> 
> As always thank you to the lovely, amazing readers out there for your encouragment. I'm very new to writing and every chapter presents itself with new difficulties so please have patience with me. Now to go hide under a rock.


	4. Chapter 4

Jamie left Claire's cottage with a lighter heart but a heavy mind that grew and seeped further into himself as his horse drew closer to home, a home he no longer lived in deciding it would lessen the tension if he moved into the small cottage on the hill that overlooked the house. There had been a delicate balance of civility between he and Jenny, a mutual, if not verbal agreement to never mention the death of Brian Fraser lest they wanted to lose each other entirely. Their conversations revolved around the day to day upkeep of Lallybroch and the lands. Short and simple with his sister making her opinions known and more often then not Jamie giving into her demands to not only keep peace but to atone the only way he knew how. The only time he put his foot down and threatened the balance had been her recent interest in his love life and even then Jamie kept himself under tight control.

 

Until now.

 

He slowed Donas to a halt, the confidence that Claire had gifted him was waning, leaving him feeling like a bairn wanting to seek her comfort and the warmth of her presence to strengthen him. He shook his head of the notion and the way he felt his body rush to life from the memory of her gentle smile.

 

Jamie shook his head again.

 

"Get on wit it, man,”Jamie demanded of himself but his mouth was dry, voice tight and his stomach curdled. With a sigh he relented then and allowed the vision of Claire invade his mind once more, letting her kind words wash over and fortify him.

 

“Maybe she is a witch,” he thought wryly as his body calmed. But she was giving him what no God or saint had been able to, courage.

 

Onward he went.

  
\------

 

Lallybroch

 

  
Jamie walked to the back of the house where he found Jenny by herself, pulling the clothes down from the line on her tippy toes with a slight sway, the small, gentle curve of her first child displacing her balance as she reached above her head. She placed her hand on the small swell and smiled to herself whispering her love to the little life making itself known. So rare to see his sister in so intimate a moment Jamie almost hadn't the heart to disrupt the scene before him.

 

Jenny heard his footsteps behind her and let out a grunt, annoyed about being disturbed from her task at hand and gave her belly a small stroke and a promise to continue their wee talk later.

 

“Oh, it's you, Jamie, I thought it was Ian needin' me.” she folded the last piece of clothing in her hand and placed it in the basket, hurrying herself, the less they spoke the better especially if it was about a certain lass. Jenny made to move past him but Jamie blocked her way.

 

“Janet, I wish- I need to speak with you." His voice trembled and his heart was hammering something fierce within him but his eyes were lit with determination and focused on Jenny, making her squirm.

 

"My day is full enough now, I have to put the clothes away - let me by." Jenny made to move again but Jamie grabbed her by the shoulders, his touch so foreign to her now that it made her flinch.

 

“I'm sorry but I need to say my peace with ye." Jamie's grip tightened on her,forcing her to look him in the eyes."I've wished for it everyday since Da died, please."

 

Jenny clenched the basket in her hands till her knuckles went white. She didn't want to speak of this again, feeling the remorse and anger build in her she dropped the basket of clothes to the ground and pushed Jamie's hands off her.

 

“No! It's better if we let it lie, Jamie, we've said our peace I canna -"

 

“We haven't! Not since that day.”

 

  
_****Flashback****_

 

_Two years ago_

 

_Jamie knew what was expected of him, the responsibility that fell on his shoulders since the age of six. His father, Brian had kept him close to home, only allowing him to leave to foster with his uncle Dougal and then to Castle Leoch to further his education. But it wasn't enough for Jamie, he wanted to see more of the world, have some adventure like his uncle and cousins. He respected his duty as future Laird but he wanted to have this one experience no matter how selfish. The opportunity, however came in the form of a war._

 

_Jamie had no lust for war but Ian was leaving for France as a mercenary and that surpassed any hesitance on his part. They had been glued to the hip since they were bairns, and it was only logical for him to follow, to look after his 'brathair' of the heart not only because he had lost two already but because he needed to see Ian home safe for the sake of his sisters heart. A sister who had healed his own grieving soul when they were young and mourning the death of brothers and a mother she so resembled in spirit. She had kept his heart safe and he would do the same for her. Jenny's happiness outweighed his fathers anger by far in Jamie's mind._

 

_When Jamie told his father of his plans, Brian threatened to tie him down and take a strap to his arse and beat him raw if he set foot out of the house. So Jamie snuck away in the middle of the night, leaving a note for his father begging him to understand his duty as a man and left with Ian, waiting for him with horses down the road, his own guilt over his role in the matter showing on his face._

 

_Upon finding an empty room and reading the note on his sons bedside table, Brian ran for the stairs but halted at the top, out of breath and dizzy he tumbled down hard to the bottom. He had suffered a stroke and laid in a crumbled heap on the floor to never wake again. It was Jenny who had found his broken lifeless body first, like she had discovered Willie all those years ago, slumped over in his bed. Word didn't reach Jamie for a week._

 

_He wasn't even off his horse before Jenny was cursing him, thrashing him, blaming him for their fathers death. Jamie didn't try to defend himself and didn't want to, letting Jenny take out her sorrow and anger out on him. All he could manage to do was cry sorry over and over again until his throat was raw and voice hoarse, dropping to his knees with his body shaking from fatigue and his own anguish. She left him on the spot to wallow in his shame and didn't look back._

 

_They avoided each other for weeks after that, Jenny couldn't stand the sight of him and Jamie couldn't bear anymore of his sisters spiteful words or his own shameful guilt. Yet she had forgiven Ian, but not her own brother. That was the final straw that broke him and drove a sharp thorn of resentment to embed itself deep within him that now extended the distance to Ian. Yet it was Ian who got Jenny to acknowledge him again slowly at first, civility followed later but the wedge was still there and Jamie for the third time in his life felt he had lost a sibling._

 

_****End of flashback****_

 

  
"I know I'm the reason father isna here with us. I have lived with the guilt everyday knowing that my very presence pains ye but I need your forgiveness _'piuthar'_." Jamie fell to his knees with his head cast down and hands in tight fists, digging hard into themselves til he felt them crack.

 

"Oh, Jamie!" Jenny dropped to her own knees and wrapped her arms around him into a suffocating hug, her body shaking from sobbing. “I'm so verra sorry for it all. For my cruelty and blaming ye. I've been living with such guilt fer how I treated ye. " Jamie sat stunned by her words and slowly encircled his own arms around her, clasping her shaking frame to his chest. Was she always so small he wondered.

 

“You ask forgiveness of me? Why now?” Stunned, his voice was barely a whisper.

 

Jenny pushed her face deeper into his chest refusing to meet his eye causing her words to be muffled, “How could I after the way I treated ye, I couldna ask ye to forgive me for my cruelty. I know how you feel about me, how ye hate me.”

 

  
"I dinna hate ye but you've avoided me nearly two years with barely a word to me unless it involved Lallybroch and just these past months you've been riding my backside with talks of marriage."

 

Jenny reluctantly picked her head up and looked through sorrowful eyes at her brother. "I held on to my anger fer so long and doubted yer ability as Laird and by the time I saw the truth of it I thought I had pushed ye to far, that you hated me. I lost ye and I couldna mend yer soul but I thought a lass could. I don't blame ye Jamie not anymore."her voice was barely a whisper, the tears that had barely ceased were building up and threatening to fall again.

 

  
"But if I had just stayed put like father said he'd still be here.” The truth of the words tasted bitter and painful on his tongue and came out choked and broken. Jenny cupped the sides of his face with her small hands and forced his gaze to meet hers, “Don't! No more blame, Jamie. I know you left out of love for Ian and- and me," her voice wavered.“Da.. ye know how he struggled after Willie passed and then with mam and the bairn...” Jenny's eyes were near swollen and she was sniffling now but the tremor in her voice was calming down, " It was going to happen Jamie whether ye left or no' and I took it out on ye because there was no one else. Da loved ye so, still loves ye wherever his soul is and I think the only thing he regrets is not tanning that hide of yers, mine too come to think of it."

 

"Aye, yer right, head full of hay he used to say of us." They both laughed through tears at the memory of their father throwing his hands in the air in exasperation asking for his wife in heaven for strength.

 

"It's just the two of us Frasers now and I'll have no more of this foolishness, I let this go on fer far too long.Now help yer sister to her feet, ' _braither'_."

 

  
And just like that Jamie was a brother again and raised his sister off the dirt beneath them.

 

  
“Not just the two of us, Jenny," his hand hovered over her belly in question until she clasped it in her own small hands and laid it across the small bump feeling for the first time his niece or nephew. "You've got a wee Fraser bairn in ye, hopefully wit more brain then hay,” Jamie teased softly.

 

“Lord, help my sanity, yer right." Jenny smiled and rolled her eyes the way Brian would so often do causing Jamie to chuckle.

 

She squeezed Jamie's hand that was still held in place over her belly, “This one here- I ken it's a boy and I want to name him James if ye dinna mind.” Jenny's eyes were as clear blue as the sky that were full with all her heart and Jamie had no words and fell to pieces as if he were a lad again. Jenny stroked his copper locks in rhythmic circles like she did when he was a wee thing in his trundle.

 

“Ian's inside if ye want to speak to him. He'll probably faint from seeing that we've made peace."

 

Arm and arm, brother and sister walked inside the house their father built, their souls at peace with one another.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all for the encouraging comments last chapter! With a special shoutout to mizzmo22 with her kind words that have kept me going. Now to some writing jargon.
> 
> Another situation were I cut a chapter in half for the sake of flow so Claire and Jamie wont see each other until the next chapter (Sorry, I'm desperate to get back to them too!). I know it's not the most thrilling chapter but hopefully all the emotions came through and make sense to you all because writing is very, very, verra hard. 
> 
> The next chapter is about 70 percent done and I'm working hard on it to hopefully get it up by next Sunday *silently prays*. There's some Jenny, there's some leghair (don't kill me) and some Jamie and Claire. There will be quarreling as always, bodily harm for sure and maybe someone realizes that a mouthy sassenach is the bonniest thing his eyes have ever seen, if only she would stop hitting him.
> 
> Work in progress preview:
> 
> Jamie found himself in a familiar direction. The grass was higher and the road less defined, the tree's tightly bunched together in twisted knobby limbs and there stood her little house, the roof slightly tilting to one side no matter how many times he tended to it. He felt himself quickening his step in anticipation of seeing her riotous brown curls framing her face and whisky gaze that could all at once cut a man down to his shins and whisk him to the highest peaks with joy. He wondered how her gaze would fall on him now. More often than not it held annoyance, amusement at his own expense and a smugness that knew no bounds. Lately a genuine kindness would cross her face she only extended to the folk who needed her. He wondered if those eyes would reflect the look his own eyes shone now. A curious eagerness to know a person in all ways.
> 
> Is this too soon? I keep taking it out and shoving it in another chapter (I'm very indecisive!). Read the next chapter to find out!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned this story to be 5 chapters.....now I have no clue.

The Lairds room at the top of the stairs was still and quiet, the only disturbances were the smoke trails of dying embers that weaved through the air. Jamie sat at his table with an open book unread, the flame of his oil lamp dimming. He had taken to reading the bible every morning the way his father had. It had fortified his father with every trial and every painful death that crossed the threshold of their home, guided him to care for his family the way he saw fit. Jamie had taken solace in the heavy weathered scripts hoping that it would instill in him the ways to care for his family and tenants, evermore so now that the British soldiers were making their presence known.

 

But today, this morning, Jamie's thoughts turned not to his duty as Laird, but to a woman.

 

Just holding her hand had calmed him and given him a sense of peace that he hadn't felt since his father was alive. Jamie reasoned it must be that the only souls he had ever spoken so freely to were his family, and without them around and he and his sister quarreling at the time, there was no one to ease his pain. But the sense of need to be near her baffled him and thrilled him all at once. They were sparks of a feeling he felt when he first saw her, an unearthly thing walking towards him from stories of old. Jamie had felt a lightness in him flare up, but then…

 

Then he was nearly impaled by the woman moments after meeting her and he realized it was trouble of bodily harm his body was warning him of. At least that's what he had told himself. What was the use of the mulling over a daft Sassenach?

 

He closed the good book with a heavy sigh and walked over to the vanity. Not used to caring much about his appearance Jamie took stock of his features and finding himself agreeable left the Lairds room. It had been a few days since his reconciliation with Jenny and she had insisted on him coming back home and take up in their fathers room. He wasn't entirely comfortable with the decision but it felt good to be back home with his family once more. He went downstairs three steps at a time, making a racket with each landing and turned toward the kitchen, hearing the sounds of water boiling and hissing away and the smells of freshly made bannocks making his stomach roar with hunger.

 

There was Jenny in her familiar brown frock and her dark hair in a tight bun stirring a large pot of porridge with Mrs. Fitz close beside her tasting the thick concoction. With their backs to him Jamie began devising a plan on how best to snatch a few bannocks when the older woman voiced her awareness of his presence.

 

"Jamie lad ye wouldna be ey'en those bannocks now would ye?"

 

"Never in life, Mrs. Fitz." Jamie went to her and gave her a lofty kiss on the cheek, "Just came to see if you ladies needed assistance." Mrs. Fitz huffed at that but gave him a nod to the plate of the fresh hot bread but not to test his luck with a second.

 

"Brought ye some jars of honey there on the table, a good batch too. The bees been gorgin' 'emselves on lavender and wild flowers, taste like beauty itself." The jar was already in hand ready for Jamie to devour when Jenny made herself known.

 

"Where did yer granddaughter get to, Mrs. Fitz?" Jamie stopped midbite and looked over at Jenny whose back was still innocently turned away from him, surely over stirring the porridge to paste.

 

"Aye, the sweet lass that one, she came to see me this mornin" Mrs. Fitz informed Jamie when she saw his confused face. "Said she wanted to bring me a bit o' sunshine." She raised her head to the large bundle of flowers gracing the windowsill, "From her own garden too. I'll fetch her to say her regards, lass is probably oot the door seein' to yer beasties she's sae fond of."

 

"No ye don't have to -" But Mrs. Fitz was already out the kitchen door in a sweep of her skirts.

 

Jamie grabbed another bannock from the plate, tearing it in his mouth and leaving crumbs to fall to the floor, ignoring his sisters glare and the wooden spoon she was gripping tight in her hand. "Did ye ask the lass to come?" Jamie asked wiping his mouth against his sleeve. He didn't want to have this conversation again.

 

"No," she said flatly, "But my opinion of her is the same." Jenny wiped her hands on her apron and met Jamie's eye aware that though their relationship had been mended it was still vulnerable to the Fraser temperament that was quickly building between the two. She needed to tread carefully however that had never been one of Jenny Frasers strong traits.

 

"I still think you have something to offer the lass and she you. I know Laoghaire is naive but she needs a man to care for her and you have so much love to give. She will be there for you day in and day out, can make ye a home, give ye children. She will be a wife for ye Jamie. Yours. She thinks the world of ye, Don't you want that?" Jenny reached for her brother hoping he would hear the truth in her words to finally see reason and think about his future instead of wasting it."

 

"What a woman says to her ardent lover should be written in wind and running water."Jamie recited dramatically a verse from his youth hoping to elicit a laugh from Jenny and to change the current discussion. Instead he only provoked his sister and she sunk her nails deep in his arm causing him to wince.

 

"Aye, make jokes Jamie, you won't listen to me ye'd rather be off rolling in the heather with the Sassenach." That stopped him dead cold.

 

“Are ye accusing me of takin' Claire to bed, Janet? ” His jaw was set tight and voice under tight rein for calm but his eyes flashed a disturbance she had rarely seen from her brother and it was about the Sassenach.

 

“Claire now is it? Ye know what they say about her Jamie, about ye two?" Jamie broke contact trying to move away from her not wanting to hear anymore but Jenny was latched on tight. "I kept quiet about it when ye brought her here, she's a fine healer I giver that but lately yer heads been in the clouds and ye've been spending yer time at her home. You used to avoid the lass and now.. I dinna ken if yer doing it to spite me or if my clotheid of a brother has lost his heart to a Sassenach."

 

“She needs help from time to time and whenever I leave her presence it's with half the hair I started with if I'm lucky. Say what ye want about me, ye do often enough, but don't go tarnishing a good woman's reputation, sister. She hasna earned yer scorn only yer respect." Jamie didn't raise his voice but his words were firm and low with Jenny feeling the sting of his distaste at her actions but she noticed he didn't address her last comment. ' _Damn heided fool.'_

 

"I apologize, brathair, I just don't want any heartache for ye, no more, ye have enough on yer shoulders and now I'm only adding to it."

 

“Ye are as any sister brings." Jamie gave his sister a gentle shake, "But trust me to know my own heart and to respect my choices. I'm fine as I am. ”

 

Jenny sighed in resignation, “I've said my peace but just consider a Scottish lass Jamie, any. Grannie McNabb has been eyen' ye since ye turned sixteen.”

 

"Grannie McNabb changed my nappies." Jamie grimaced with a shudder but happy that she was joking with him.

 

"Aye, so she has first call on ye." Jenny replied back, eyes bright with mirth.

 

Jamie felt a flood of relief flow through him as the matter was put to rest, for how long would depend on his sister's patience for a niece or nephew. He embraced Jenny and kissed her on the top of her head.

 

Mrs.Fitz popped in then from the doorway, "The stramash done wi' then, dearies?"

 

  
\-----

 

  
The morning air was crisp around Jamie as he walked outside filling his lungs with clean fresh air and the unmistakable scent of shit. "Damn dogs!" Jamie was bent over checking his boots for what had to have been the most rancid of stenches when he heard someone clear their throat.

 

Jamie looked up to see the young lass with smooth moonbeam hair and rosy cheeks beaming at him with want and expectation. He gulped nervously at the attention. ' _Damn ye, Jenny, damn ye -'_

 

“Good mornin' to ye, Jamie.” Laoghaire chirped, interrupting Jamie's mental cursing. She was surrounded by two heathens disguised as dogs, Elphin and Bran, burying their faces into her skirts and pawing at her inhibiting her movement.

 

" _Sheas, mo maise_!" Jamie commanded and the two hounds settled down but stayed near her with tails whipping madly in anticipation of a treat.

 

"It's fine, Jamie, my own fault fer feeding them sweeties." Laoghaire patted their heads affectionately leaving them to whine at not being rewarded with food. "I was just on my way back home, mam will get fashed thinkin' I've been dragged away by redcoats." She took a step closer to him nearly tripping over the dogs, "Would ye walk wi' me Jamie, to see me safe?" She batted her eyes at him.

 

There had only been a few occasions for the patrol to pass on his lands and even then only on the outskirts. But Jamie wasn't willing to risk the young girls safety for the inconvenience of it.

 

“Aye, if I must," he replied relunctantly."I'm the reason ye came I wont be the reason fer any damage to come yer way.” Laoghaire felt her cheeks run hot that he had seen through her ' _carefully_ ' laid plan and simply nodded her head in thanks.

 

  
It was uneasy walking with Laoghaire, she would sneak looks at him opening her mouth to speak then pausing that had her looking like a gapping trout and she was fiddling with her hands twisting them to the point that Jamie was sure they'd snap off. So out of kindness and to ease his own awkwardness Jamie brought up conversation of the animals that she was so fond of. He recalled when they were young how she tried to hide a rabbit in her bonnet and how frustrated she became when he tried to escape. "I've never seen someone gi' so angry with a such a wee fluff, you were smotherin' the puir thing." Jamie was howling loudly but it faltered off when he saw her face downcast. She kindly reminded him she was hiding the rabbit from her father's blade and had been desperate to save the little life she had grown so fond of. Jamie turned red and apologised for his thoughtless remark. Laoghaire pressed him further and asked if he remembered how he hid the rabbit in his shed for her and how he wiped her tears away giving his oath of protection as future Laird to the little soul. He shook his head, the memory lost to him causing her face to falter.

 

It was when they shared their common interest of horses that they found safe ground to speak freely on. Both became more animated at being able to talk anothers ear off about their love for the creatures without fear of grating the others nerves. It was then, once she had calmed Jamie found Laoghaire to be pleasant and discovered she had a mind outside of her interest in him. He began to see why his sister was convinced she would do him well.

 

He could almost imagine the life that was beginning to paint itself. A simple sweet wife who would tend to his every need, who would be obedient to his every whim and command and it left him feeling hollow. She was a likable lass, more then he thought, but that was the extent of his feelings. Not like the bewilderment of emotions causing him havoc of late. He had been putting it off but he knew then he had to see Claire, to get himself sorted of whatever she had awakened in him.

 

"Would ye like to come in?" Laoghaire asked shyly when they came upon her house.

 

"I'm fine lass, there's something that needs my attention that I must see to."

 

"Maybe I could help ye." She timidly layed her hand on his arm feeling the hard warmth of him. Did he not see how badly she wanted for him.

 

'Puir lass,' Jamie pitied and gave her hand a soft tap before removing it. "Tis no concern of yers but thank ye for the walk it did me some good." The comment made her heart soar and her face crack in a wide grin of hope. But then Laoghaire watched the man she had dreamed of calling hers walk towards the thick wood to the old worn path that had only one destination and her heart crumbled.

 

  
\-----

 

  
Jamie found himself in a familiar direction. The grass was higher and the road less defined, the tree's tightly bunched together in twisted knobby limbs and there stood her little house with a roof that tilted slightly to one side no matter how many times he tended to it. He felt himself quickening his step in anticipation of seeing her riotous brown curls framing her face and whisky gaze that could all at once cut a man down to his shins and whisk him to the highest peaks with joy. He wondered how her gaze would fall on him now. More often than not it held annoyance, amusement at his own expense and a smugness that knew no bounds. Lately a genuine kindness would cross her face she only extended to the folk who needed her. He wondered if those eyes would reflect the look his own eyes shone now. A curious eagerness to know a person in all ways.

 

"I've been bewitched and I don't half mind." The realization and acceptance was oddly soothing to Jamie.

 

Jamie found Claire on her knees in the dirt with a small pile of uprooted plants in a basket at her side. If they were weeds or the wee bit of greens she was accustomed to eating he did not know. But what caught his attention was the fact that she was having a conversation with her greenery and verra cross with them by the sound of it.

 

“Oh, you ravenous little beasts feeding on poor Tom," Claire took her hand shovel to the slugs ending their feast in the most satisfactory way.

 

"You give yer bitty greens names, Sassenach?" Jamie asked, his eyes alive with delight at the sight. Well, if his mind was truly gone he'd be in good company.

 

Claire let out a yelp and snapped the stalk of her plant in half.

 

"Did ye just murder poor Tom?" He was in pure enjoyment, too much Claire noted once she looked up to see his face smirking down at her. _'Of all the times for him to catch me. Damn.'_

 

"It's Tormentil you sneak and he has a fleet of brothers and sisters to mourn him because of you." Claire tossed the mangled plant to the side and dusted the dirt off her skirts and with reluctance took Jamie's hand that he offered to stand.

 

"I offer my apologies to the late Mr.Tormentil." He then gave a courtly bow much to Claire's amusement.

 

"You are an arse," she chuckled, giving up on being cross with him.

 

"Arse is it? I thought ye regarded me as yer friend?"

 

"Which I'm sorely regretting." Claire then looked him over since his sudden appearance. His demeanor was certainly lighter then it usually was with her. He was smiling for one, a genuine look of ease that was reflected in his whole body that stood so much larger than her own. But there was only ever one reason he would ever seek her out. "What brings you here anyway?" She put a finger to her chin, tapping it with a grin on her face. "Did Donas finally kick you in the rear?" She jokingly leaned over to see the appendage in question.

 

“My arse is fine for now, just came by to risk it and thank ye for yer guidance." The tone of his voice turning serious, "I spoke to my sister and...well I'm very happy and indebted to ye, Sassenach."

 

“Nonsense, you don't owe me a thing." She waved her hands in front of her. "I'm glad that I didn't overstep."

 

"Nay, fer once yer opinion was welcomed. Even with Laoghaire -"

 

"Laoghaire?" The name startled her and Claire wondered how a such a silly name could send her mood to sour."Did she give up one you then?"

 

"Weel no' exactly. She came to me just this morning and I walked her home. I used to think she was empty heided when I was a lad but there's more to her than I gave her credit fer, I was surprised we had a pleasant walk." And for clearing my mind towards ye.'

 

Jamie's features softened which Claire attributed to the young girl who he was now apparently so fond of. 'How fickle the male mind.' She thought.

 

"Do you plan on announcing the engagement on quarter day then, Mr. Fraser?" Her tone held more of an edge then she intended.

 

Jamie raised a brow, "No, and Call me Jamie, ye did the other day and I found it verra fine.” The softness in his eyes that Claire had assumed were caused by Laoghaire were now directed towards leaving her uncomfortable.

 

"Alright, Jamie then." She said shyly, "I suppose I should reciprocate and have you call me Claire.”

 

“I thought ye liked Sassenach." Jamie smirked.

 

"The others here spit it like the insult it, but I don't mind it from you. It's what you called me from the first. You mean it in jest, at least when you're not cross with me.”

 

"Och, weel, you were always a Sassenach to me accent or no."

 

 

_***Flashback***_

  
_He first saw her out in the fields. She had appeared out of nowhere amongst the heather like a woodland spirit, walking towards him without hesitation in her step, head held high. Jamie had been shoveling hay and stopped mid pick, making no move towards her afraid she'd turn around and disappear from sight. As she came closer he noticed her cloak was a bit battered, green dress fraying at the edges and a little dusty, her only bag worse for wear and wisps of rich brown hair escaping its binding and cascaded down her long pale neck. She was beautiful and Jamie couldn't quite focus when she reached him and asked his name._

 

_“Come again, lass?” Jamie asked shaking himself back to reality._

 

_“I asked your name, Sir?” Her voice was serious, eyes sharp but weary. She had obviously been on her feet for some time and had no time for idlenes._

 

_“Fraser, James Fraser." He made a bow."Your servant, mistress.” She was English. Why'd she have to be bloody English._

 

_But then her golden eyes softened and a breath she had been holding released, an achingly sweet smile spread wide across her face and James Fraser felt his body bursting into flames as if she had kissed him. “I have been looking for you, Mr. Fraser, I hear you are in need of someone with my talents.”_

 

_“Have ye now, Sassenach?"_

 

  
_***End of flashback***_

 

  
"Next I find myself on the ground covered in muck wi' a cracked ankle and you hoverin' 'bove me callin' me a clumsy oof." He winced at the memory.

 

“You're still an 'oof' if you blame me for your clumsiness and it was a mild strain you child.” Claire rolled her eyes.

 

"If I recall right ye tried to gut me too." Jamie ignored her completely as the memory played out in his mind.

 

"I was trying to help you!"

 

"With a pitchfork?!" She had grabbed the pitchfork that he was holding on to as he was falling to help balance him but the pronged ends had turned around to face him and.. well.. at least she missed. Claire gave him a sheepish look and shrugged.

 

“Aye, I shoulda sent ye on yer way right then and there but I was too soft hearted.” Jamie groaned but his eyes held a humor clearly dancing behind them.

 

"You looked like a piglet you know, head to toe covered in filth." She laughed

 

"Did I? Fit for the pin I s'pose."

 

"You'd be in good company with your sow unless she tried to nip you again?" She replied absentmindedly.

 

“Again? What do ye mean..? ” Claire's face went tight lipped, slowly flushing red from face to neck then to a deep purple, followed by the most joyous laughter she hadn't felt in ages. Jamie's nostrils flared, his own shade matching hers for an entirely different reason.

 

“Rabbie?" Claire shook her head furiously but who else had a mouth that went a mile a second _. 'That lad!'_

 

"Well dinna get too smug, Sassenach, he had an awful lot to say 'bout ye.”

 

"Like what?" The words came out in squeaks as she tried to compose herself, she was completely unconvinced of his threat.

 

Jamie racked his brain, the worst Rabbie had said was how she would one moment be cursing under her breath to humming softly to herself, something about the sea he had said. _'Double Damn the lad!'_

 

"Nothin' sae fair daft as you carrying on with yer Mr.Tom." He answered with the only dirt he had on her but he should of known better than to insult a gardners plants that were equal to flesh.

 

Claire went for a swipe at his head but Jamie easily caught her slight frame in a tight embrace, forcing her limbs to fall to her sides and crushing her to his chest, leaving them both shocked at the closeness of one another. Their faces were mere inches from each other, their heavy breathing pushing their chest hard against one another allowing them to feel the hard lines of taut muscle play against soft curves. His hands on her waist and back keeping her close as sin and she gripped hard on his leather belt strapped to his waist to keep her steady afraid she would fall into his blue eyes that reminded her so much of the sea.

 

“Mr. Fraser -”

 

“Jamie," He reminded with a force that sent the timbre in his voice to reach deep into Claire's chest causing her breathing to hitch and a warmth to spread along her body making her glow a rosy hue. Jamie reached tentatively for her face, his fingertips grazing her neck as he thumbed away a smudge on her cheek.

 

"Did ye always have freckles, Sassenach?" But more than that he noticed the fine arch of her brow, how her eyes had flecks of captured golden sun in them and how the flush that crossed her cheeks was now mirrored in the curve of her breasts. Jamie gulped.

 

"No, they were licked on by a _'coo_ '."She meant to irritate him by mocking his accent but it came out a whisper as his eyes were darting all over her face taking in her features with a tenderness that unsettled her, so used to his expressions of irritation.

 

Jamie reluctantly released her waist when he felt her pull away but gently held his hand over hers not yet wanting to severe the tie that was beginning to tangle them both. Claire intwined their fingers already feeling the pull back to him even though she was the one who broke the embrace.

 

"Will ye come to Lallybroch, for tea?" The voice that interrupted her thoughts was strained as if he hadn't spoken for centuries but the earnest plea was clear to her.

 

"Why?" Claire asked breaking the contact fully and hopefully the spell he cast on her and bring them back to familiar ground.

 

"Friends speak to one another 'bout their days joys and grievances." Jamie replied with his brows furrowed, perplexed at her hesitance. He had been encouraged by her reaction to him but now..

 

"What if I don't want to share a thing?" She took a step further back needing space between them both before her mind would cloud her judgement again.

 

"Then come to tea anyways, I'll do the talkin'. I shall regale ye of all the Scottish tales yer English upbringing was lacking ." His eyes searched hers hoping to sway her.

 

"And where do we go from there?"

 

"If ye find me agreeable then maybe ye can invite me for a walk to forage for yer wee herbs where you can judge my intelligence, I suspect ye'd like that greatly, Sassenach." She turned her head trying to shield her smile taking form. With his confidence building Jamie gave her more honesty.

 

"I would like to know you, Claire Beauchamp and I'd like fer you to know me as well."

 

"What if I'm not ready for tea today or even in a week?"

 

"Then I will have to do without. I'm a very patient man when properly motivated." The choice was hers to make, to press the friendship that she herself had given name to forward.

 

Claire remembered when they first met, that disasterous meeting forever ingrained in both their minds, how at the end when he had given her a place of refuge she saw possibilities of a new life and everything wonderful that could come true. But a deep rooted doubt that had plagued her mind since what seemed like always took hold like weeds, numerous and unrelenting, reminding her of what had always been her downfall.

 

Jamie noticed her look of anguish that now crossed her face."I take no offense if ye rather not, Claire, truly. Dinna feel I'm forcing ye as Laird to accept."

 

"I didn't think you were it's just - shouldn't it be storming hail and thunder? You falling in a bush of nettles cursing me to the devil who created me?" She half laughed at her own absurd words but to them it was a reality.

 

"I've wondered that myself but here we are limbs and all and the only thing at risk is a bit of our pride." Jamie held her hand once more without hesitance this time and with the lightest of touches brushed the scar at her palm calming her as it had him. "Lets stop expecting the worse of each other, Claire, The last time we did is still wi' me and is the reason I want to know ye. Besides I already stepped in shit, independent from seeing ye today, maybe our misfortunes are in our past." He attempted what she guessed was a wink in the most peculiar of ways that brought the smile back to her face and the shine back into her eyes.

 

"You are a most ridiculous man, James Fraser. I will have tea with you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The bit about what a woman says to her ardent lover is a quote from a movie I love and thought would work well here so I looked it up to see the proper wording and found out it's from Catullus!  
> *licked on by cows was said by Jamie in the books and I always thought it was funny  
> *Tormentil (Potentilla erecta)- I just needed a plant with a cute name  
> *the shit was the love potion in case anyone forgot. 
> 
> I hope the dialogue between J/C makes sense. It goes from the irritated familiarity that they've had off page to the newfound ease with eachother from their last meeting and to new uncharted ground (so tough to get the balance!). I probably should have had Jamie ask Claire to tea after the flashback instead of the whole cliche falling in each others arms thing but guys I was soo desperate to write J/C that I kinda don't care. I hammered the sow line in with a mallet so Claire could fall into Jamies arms. I've never written anything romantic so hopefully it works. Now to the bad stuff.
> 
> My computer decided to restart and update in the middle of writing this chapter (if there are mistakes I'm sorry but I can't read my own writing again *cringes* ) and then I found out there is a very small yet massive plot hole in my future chapters *Bangs head on keyboard* I have no idea what I should do so expect the next update to be a while :p But I do know the next chapter will cover Claire's backstory (this story has been leaning towards Jamie which was Never my intention but it just happened that way, Claire is my favorite character!) it's just the end that has the plot hole :p
> 
> Thank you for reading and I welcome all the feedback. Now to go procrastinate this problem


	6. Chapter 6

1 year ago

  
Claire and Jamie had managed to walk back to Lallybroch, with the redhead hobbling and leaning awkwardly on her shoulder, causing tangled legs, bruised toes and insults of each others competence to walk. Here she was greeted with curious glances and questions in rushed gaelic directed at Jamie and then with help from a mousy brown haired man named Ian, they were brought to the kitchen, with Jamie plopping in to a chair with his foot supported on a nearby stool. His clothes were covered in now dry caked on dirt but his face had been cleaned from filth with a basin of water provided by a woman, a sister Jamie quickly introduced, small in stature with dark straight hair tied up and eyes the same as the Lairds, slanted with a clear piercing blue. However she would not meet Claire's or her brothers gaze and as quickly as she came she left but her presence could be felt hovering just beyond the door leaving Claire alone with an ill tempered Scot.

 

Claire inspected his injury, poking and prodding him making him mutter what she guessed was less than favorable compliments in gaelic.

 

"So, the foot stays, aye?" Jamie grimaced through his teeth.

 

"What would you say if I brought out a saw?" Claire returned the humor thinking he had been joking but was met with grim blue eyes and a frown to match.

 

"To bugger off," he grunted but peered down to her bag, considering the size of a saw in relation it.

 

"Hmpff." Claire kept her mouth shut. She had already called the man she hoped would give her a position an oaf and a few other choice words, to call him a sodding arse would be a tad impolite. But she couldn't quite help herself and pressed her thumb to the arch of his foot. The choked moan in his throat gave her the desired result and Claire made sure to repress the smile burning her cheeks.

 

After giving it a once over to verify what she already thought back in the field Claire opened her bag rifling through her possessions; a single well worn dress, a green shawl, and what she had been searching for - her medicine box. Lifting the clasp she gathered a long patch of cloth and a vial of oil, "Rosemary oil," she explained seeing his curious look, "Good for relaxing and soothing the muscles." and with a nod from Jamie worked the oil gently into his skin then set herself to binding his foot.

 

They remained silent after that, Claire could feel his gaze on her, observing her ministrations and she could feel her breath go short. The interview had begun the moment he fell on his arse leaving her in a less the kindly light but she hoped her display of knowledge would tip in her favor.

 

Jamie cleared his throat when he saw her tie off the end of the cloth and Claire did her best to gather herself and mute her features. She sat straight as a rod and folded her hands in her lap. She was ready.

 

"How did ye hear 'bout me?"

 

"Why were ye traveling alone and on foot?"

 

"I was in Inverness when I heard about a Mr. Fraser offering a position for a healer from a rather gruff gentleman I couldn't name and I was traveling on foot because my driver would take me no further without pay." Claire proudly held her head high at keeping her wits about her, omitting the fact that she had overheard the conversation, from a bearded chap in a pub picking up enough details to set herself on the right path. But her cheeks were lightly flushed at admitting she had no coin in her purse.

 

"Aye," Jamie said softly. The slightly battered appearance he had observed earlier made more sense and now he saw the fraying at the collar and other parts of her clothing scattered all over that looked to have been mended many a time. Her cheeks that were aglow brought his attention to the thinness of her face and a paleness that wasn't entirely due to her breeding. But a lass with little in way of money was not uncommon, he needed to know more even if it left them both uncomfortable.

 

"But I find it verra odd for an English woman to be strollin' about in the highlands alone. This is a dangerous time for a lass much less a Sassenach, people here have a prejudice against ye. So I ask you, why are ye alone in Scotland?"

 

He saw her jaw tense and how she let her eyes fall to her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

 

"I dinna mean this to be an interrogation. I hope fer you to understand that there should be a truth between us if I'm to be yer Laird. We all have secrets, yer entitled to those but I will not stand for lies."

 

Claire had prepared for questions regarding her past but this was something entirely different. Secrets she had and lies aplenty but she didn't think any fabrication would work on the pair of fox eyes scrutinizing her now. She feared he had unriddled her, seen through her words, and the only answer was as much of the truth she could allow.

 

"I have no family to speak of." She began, "My last tie to England died with my husband." Short and clear, no lies, but please ask no more her words demanded. "I had wished to go to France but I had little in way of money to do so. I'm here in Scotland by chance. I followed where I was needed and that has led me to you, Mr. Fraser, with nothing but my skills to offer you." Her eyes searched his trying to decipher if he had believed her but they were hooded from her.

 

"And ye have plenty I hope, skill I mean?"

 

"I've traveled all over, learned my craft at the L'Hôpital des Anges and seen and tended to every nasty affliction you could possibly fathom. So yes, I am more than capable."

 

Jamie tapped his fingers against his thigh staring at her handiwork and wiggled his toes, without the sharp pain as before but a small dull ache that quickly faded away.

 

"I ask of ye because I've had sickness aplenty, taking all my heart wi' it. I need to be sure of ye." His voice was pitched low and thick.

 

"I wouldn't lie about that."

 

"No, I dinna believe ye would. But it's no' much in way of pay, we're farmers ken, ye'd be payed wi' thanks and food, silver from time to time.

 

"I don't need much in way of payment." A glimmer of hope sprouting in her chest, Claire leaned closer to him.

 

"I will be yer Laird and I will see to yer care and needs, you will have my protection English or no'. No harm will come to ye on my lands, that I promise ye." Jamie extended his hand to her.

 

"I can stay?" Claire asked, her voice shaking.

 

Jamie smiled at her "Aye, Sassenach, as long as this -" points to foot, "isn't a common occurrence ye have a home here."

 

"A fluke, I'm sure, Mr. Fraser." she replied taking his hand with both of hers and feeling the reassuring tight grip of it.

 

"Good. I know a place ye can stay but it needs fixin."

 

 

Present day

 

  
"Fixing indeed," Claire mused as she looked around her stone dwelling. Jamie's touches were all over, surrounding her, mingling with hers. The few wooden chairs and tables, chipped and slightly uneven, that held her mortars and tools had been provided by him. Feeling the draft of a never-ending battle Claire looked up and smiled. Of course the bloody roof. How many times had she heard him banging away? How many times had nails and hammer and once a foot fallen through and in purposeful clear english let her know how much he truly ' _enjoyed'_ having her there.

 

Whether Jamie was fond of Claire or not he had pledged to care for her needs with his own hands. He was a man of his word, a quality so rare and foreign to her.

 

But now he wished for more. To know more of her. And she agreed to it. A connection to another soul in friendship to what end? She said yes to tea in hopes of what? She felt her heart quicken not from the hope of a man but in fear of the one she left behind, the last man she opened herself to, another shadow of a cursed life to follow her. She could still feel the grip of his hands, long and slender with an elegance to them she had admired once until she felt them along her neck, the pressure increasing slowly as he whispered sweet nothings, the sour smell of his breath stinging her nose while his hands stole the air from her lungs.

 

Claire steadied herself and breathed deeply the air around her tethering her to the present, the calming scents of lavender and rosemary hanging above her, the feel of her cool hands rubbing together brushing against the scar -the scar - the one Jamie patched up with such care and the gentlest of touches, his eyes a fright at hurting her. She wished Jamie were here now to joke with her, to call her something fiendish in gaelic, to have him near and feel the presence of his strength to drive the whispers and memories away.

 

She wanted to have to tea.

 

  
\-------

 

  
Claire could feel the cold stare of a wolf through her back as she stirred a fresh brew of tea on the stove. Jenny Fraser wasn't what Claire had in mind when the large impending doors of Lallybroch opened for her but before her arrival, Jamie had been called away to see to a broken mill leaving his sister behind to host. Now, Claire had her judgemental eye for company with a tongue that matched the tea she was about to serve.

 

_"Yer feeding me nettles?" Jenny had asked when Claire presented the parcel to her. She had brought an assortment of small bags of tea for the trio, Ian, Jenny and Jamie, but paid extra attention to the fierce lady of Lallybroch._

_"Not exactly, you boil the leaves like any other tea, very carefully mind you, and make it to your liking." Though Claire thought Jenny Fraser might be the only person alive who could eat the stinging leaves raw. "It helps with cramps related to your pregnancy, I've seen it do the trick in no time."_

_Jenny took the parcel from her hands, and with a skeptical gleam in her eye sighed, "Ye went through the trouble of pickin' a bundle of the devils flowers fer me and I won't have my brother raising his voice to me for no' accepting a gift. Thank ye."_

_Jenny truly had a way of making a guest feel welcomed._

 

Jenny stared at the hot brew that was placed in front of her with a flat look of suspicion, not bothering to hide her expression as Claire looked on across from her. She tentatively brought the steamy cup to her mouth and gave it a cautious sip. Then another.

 

"Good, is it?" Claire asked searching for a clue in her eyes while knowing it a wasted effort, Jenny had the same ability to control her features as her brother.

 

"My tongue hasna shriveled away and my throats intact. A good tea, Sassenach." Claire could hear the inflection in her voice, not entirely unfriendly yet it held the suspicion towards an outsider, unwelcomed.

 

"Thank you." Claire sipped her own cup of tea with eyes cast down _. Where is that bloody man! He ask me to tea and leaves me here with a she-wolf out for blood who -_

 

"So, my braithar is sweet on ye?" Burning red, Claire nearly spilled her tea down her dress and for the first time since knowing Jenny she saw her laugh, whole heartedly, head back.

 

"Is that what he's told you? We both agreed to put the past behind us to try and behave like adults for once. To be friends." Claire felt herself sputtering out the words in a frantic pace only proving to Jenny the opposite was true.

 

"I've never seen the lad so self conscious of a lass who, as ye both say, are simply friends. The damn fool was frettin' about all day, pesterin' me to be on my best behavior for ye." Jenny leaned on her palm studying her "Is it the same fer you then? Have ye both lost yer minds?" Before she could answer God proved his existence and mercy to her.

 

Rabbie came bursting into the backdoor of the kitchen with a gleeful smile spread across his face.

 

"The Laird was bare ars- " the rest of Rabbie's sentence was cut off by the large hands of a wetheaded Scot, out of breath and face a dreadful shade of scarlet that Claire was sure wasn't entirely from running or cold.

 

"What was that child, Jamie was bare arsed ye say?" Jenny's eyes were shining with mirth at her brothers humiliation. Rabbie was wiggling under Jamie's grasp over his mouth, desperate to be the first to spill the events that led to the unshedding of his Lairds undergarments. But then Ian walked through the doorway and beat him to it.

 

"Had to, the wheel was jammed and our great Laird sacrificed his dignity and jumped in the water -"

 

" _Dùin do bheul, Ian_!"

 

"What ye say, Jamie, that yer-" Ian was cut off by the imposing form of Jamie coming his way however leaving wee Rabbie free as a lark to gab away.

 

"Tha' his cock was set ta snap off!" Rabbie yelled triumphantly and scampered off as quick as a hare out the door leaving a room full of laughter and Jamie fuming.

 

"Is that why you came in limping, Jamie?" Claire inquired through her fit of giggles. The opportunity to tease Jamie was a pastime of Ian and Jenny's that they had forgotten Claire's presence and the laughter died down.

 

"Nay." Jamie spat while adjusting his collar, quick to change the subject "I'm shaking from cold and hunger. Is there anything left for me to eat?" He snatched his sisters cup and gave it a curious sniff.

 

"It's a tea of nettles you thief." Jenny slapped his hand away.

 

"Weel, if there ever was a tea made for a woman..." Jenny smacked her brother across the back of the head, a true feat seeing as he towered over her.

 

" A gift from yer Sassenach."

 

"Claire," Jamie said narrowing his eyes at his sister "Our guest has a name, Jenny."

 

"Pardon me braithar I dinna think ye had a claim on the word, _no am boireannach_." Ignoring Jaime's daggers being thrown her way she turned to Claire, shifting in her seat uneasily, oblivious of the words.

 

"Well, Claire seein' as we're all friendly now has my brathier told ye bout the time he rode the coo's in the dead of night naked? Honestly, Jamie yer a downright heathen -" As Jenny continued Claire sighed in relief as the womans hooded eyes were now opened to her and glowed in friendship.

 

Jamie, accepting his fate sat down beside Claire, who was cackling away with his family, the sight of her in her bonny dress smelling of marigolds and sun warming him to the bone. She turned to him, her cheeks shaded the loveliest color from laughter and seeing his wet hair asked if he were cold.

 

"I'll do." And inched his chair closer to hers, their knees unconsciously bent towards one another leaving them to finally relax in the barest of touches, sharing a shy secret smile.

 

  
\-----

 

  
They walked alongside one another past the gates of Lallybroch and away from pushed up faces against windows, closing the gap between them until their arms brushed against each other, their fingers twitching at the need for contact. He was walking aside her with his eyes firmly set to his boots kicking every twig and stone that he came across. A childish feeling came across Claire and she had the sudden urge to throw a pebble at his head, thicker and harder than iron she wondered how high it would bounce. If anything it would cut the silence with a string of delightful curses, equal to terms of endearment between the two. As if divining her thoughts Jamie looked over and raised a brow at her with a hint of a smile behind his lips.

 

"So, has my sister ruined my reputation for ye, Sassenach?"

 

"Wasn't that what the tea was about, to judge your intelligence, to see if you were worthy of my company?"A mischievous smile lurked beneath the corners of her mouth as she bumped his arm with her own.

 

"No, that was for when I'd take you out to forage fer yer wee herbs." He bumped her back taking the opportunity to graze her palm with his fingertips, causing her lips to part and his ears pink." This was 'spose to be if ye find me agreeable."

 

Claire dodged the question, finding interest in the sticks and pebbles he had been so taken. "You were also supposed to teach me the finer points of Scottish culture starting with grand stories of silkies and what have you over tea."

 

"What have you being the tales of Nigra Dea and Cailleach, and I plan to the next time I'm wi' ye." He spoke it so matter of factly that there would be a next time and with just the two of them that left her feeling faint.

 

"But as I was sitting beside you watching the way yer whisky eyes lit up at hearing of all the ways my arse has been strapped I couldna help my mind being consumed wi' ye, tearing it and my chest in two and I canna put a name to it, I canna dare for I find ye more than agreeable, Sassenach." His voice sounding choked and breathless wanting reassurance that he wasn't alone in the fever that was overtaking him and had her aching to comfort him. But…

 

"You said you would give me time to sort myself out. I'm just as lost as you in this, maybe more so." Claire bit her lip and crossed her arms over her chest to keep them at bay, his words dizzying her and pulling her along faster than what she had wanted.

 

 

"I'm verra sorry, Claire, I respect yer wish to keep to yer own pace but I must know is this normal to feel such a way? To feel myself burn from just a glance of yer eyes and shiver from yer touch whether it be from yer hands or curls whipping me in my face?" Jamie lifted his hand to her escaped locks in frizzy array about her face tracing them down her neck to her collarbone and then up again in a maddening tease that had her swaying to his touch.

 

  
"Damn Scot, there's no escaping you is there?" Claire laid a hand on his chest feeling the same thunderous battle in his that mirrored her own. Any clinging doubts in her mind were cast away if even for a moment of happiness but then the sting of selfishness pierced her heart. She breathed in deeply like she had before and was encased in the smell of woods and grass and his own musky smell to root her in place with him.

 

  
"So you mean…". His sea blue eyes surged with an overwhelming tenderness at seeing the same emotion reflect back that he had hoped for. The strange curiosity to know the other in all ways that had been plaguing him. He brought her wrist to his lips, the throb of her pulse pushing back against him in pounding reciprocation.

 

  
She whispered, "You forgot the other." And with their eyes still locked, he kissed the inside of her wrist, then another at her palm with the small raised mark, bringing it to rest to his cheek.

 

"Where else have I forgotten, Sassenach?" Jamie leaned in close and she could feel his breath, laced with sweet smells of honey and bread tickling her lips. At the last moment she hesitated and dipped her head down, not yet ready for the maddening intimacy his lips promised. Jamie however pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead and held her close, the calm she had been yearning for since waking, spreading to every part of her trembling body, protecting her.

 

The evening sun was upon them casting it's shadows to hurry them to say their goodbyes as they reached the old stone cottage.

 

"Come tomorrow morning."

  
"Aye!"

  
"Early, at dawn."

  
"Yes, mo nighean donn."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I prefer the last chapter so much more than this one. I kinda hate it.
> 
> The tea was never supposed to happen ( Claire couldn't make it because of .....)and that had me scrambling to make a filler chapter because of my plot hole :p I was stuck forever trying to come up with stuff. 
> 
> Anywho, the next chapter should be the last one (in my head it is but we'll see once I start to write it).
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got insomnia and wrote this instead of the last chapter. I wrote this pretty fast and on my phone so tell me if you find any mistakes or nonsense.

  
Jamie had come at dawn, showing restraint not to push Donas to a full gallop and was rewarded with the sight of a wagon at Claire's home belonging to Geordie McAlister and his wife who couldna wait till midday for what ailed them. With the way the man was walking he bet his silver on piles.

 

In the meantime Jamie puttered around Claire's garden, waiting for her, taking notice of all the wee things that she had given life to with her hands, small and gentle with the bonniest of touches yet holding such skill and strength she could set a grown mans leg thicker then her waist. Capable hands that seemed to carry a part of him he never knew he gave away. When had it happened he wondered. Was it always there but hidden under petty arguments and broken thumbs and bruises? Only a few days ago she had called him friend and now it all seemed so fast yet not fast enough.

  
Hearing the door open and friendly chatter rift through the wind he came round the front catching the eyes of the couple already set on their way. With a wave and curious stares from them he knew there would be whispers abound. 'Bugger him' he thought and turned to Claire, a smile on her lips that reached her amber eyes at seeing him, her hair fully down and in a wild state of riotous rebellion that had his fingers itching to thread through and wrap tightly in his fists. _'A Dhia!'_

  
“Sorry about that. Duties of a doctor." she shrugged and divining his thoughts added, "I told them you were here to procure some medicine for Jenny."

 

“Did they believe ye?”

 

“They were more concerned with other matters then their doctors personal affairs with the man they call Himself.” she teased.

 

He rolled his eyes at the title and rolled his shoulder as if to shed it. "What was auld Geordie complaining 'bout by the way?"

 

"You know I can't divulge that, patient doctor confidentiality, ken?" Claire's lips were curled in a playful smile as she reached for phantom leaves along his arms, dusting the nothing away and enjoying the freedom to touch him. Jamie took hold of the hands that he had been admiring in his mind letting his thumbs brush her knuckles.

 

"Sore throat? A rash? Or was it piles? A hint for my patience, lass. The image of ye kept me wake and speeding to ye at the break of sun, at your insistence mind ye, only to find you wi' another man. I had to speak to yer plants to pass the time, verra awkward considering our Mr. Tom."

 

"Must have given you an earful." She chuckled.

 

"That they did, mostly how ye talk far too much -" Claire took a mock swipe but missed him a hairs touch as he dodged away from her grinning like a fiendish beast with her smiling right with him, the silliness infecting her as well.

 

"Bout a tall, charming chap with a face to make ye swoon." Jamie made an imitation of a less than flattering slack jawed version of her that had the humor vanishing from herself and going for kicks."I've seen snakes more charming, you bastard!"

 

"Who ye must admit has a fine mind ye've never known. Even yers fails in comparison."

 

"You pea brained swine!" He was doubled over with laugher, her fists not holding back an ounce of strength as she pummeled him not caring that it was the equivalent of hitting a stone wall.

 

"Truce!" Jamie called, pushing the laughter down lest she give him a black eye. He took a knee and looked imploringly at her. "I ask forgiveness my lady, this poor fool has been withering away in the blaze of the sun and throws himself at your mercy."

 

  
"Your lady demands you throw yourself in a pig pin. Now! Make haste." Her hands at her waist staring him down with a fierceness that only made him want her more.

 

"I canna for I'm besotted with ye, please I beg ye, for you are far wiser than I and can see my hearts words are true."

 

  
Feeling the betrayal of a smile threatening to show itself Claire sighed over the child in front of her grinning from ear to ear. "I suppose I must show pity to a fool."

 

  
"Clotheid to be exact." Jamie raised himself to full height, engulfing her with his frame and tender gaze as he finally let his fingers thread through her silky curls…her curls! The McAlister had come before she could see to her hair, an absolute fright of tangles that would put medusa to shame. Claire grabbed her hair by the bushels and prayed the vistages of sleep had left her eyes.

 

"Leave them, mo nighean don. I've been aching to see ye just so. They suit ye."

 

"A damnable mess .I've been told by far too many that I should wear cap." She gathered her hair and tried to twist it away from his grasp. Jamie gave her a frustrated look. "Then the more fool they. At least yer not redheided, an eyesore for most."

 

Claire shook her head and held a lock of his hair softer then she expected to be. "You carry the sun with you no matter where you go. Auburn and copper, strands of blonde in the curve of the wave. A living flame so lovely." She trailed off seeing his eyes go wide at her words.

 

"You must like me terribly." Jamie hadn't meant it as a joke it was more to himself, a reassuring realization that she saw him in such a way that left his heart racing and his face aching from the grin it held.

 

  
"I hate you immensely you bloody Scot." She muttered but allowed him to take hold of her arms to bring her closer, sliding his large hands down to her waist, feeling a slight tremble course her body as his fingers brushed her ribs in a pattern of words only known to him.

 

"Shall we stay inside and risk another guest or shall ye steal me away to yer woods?" His voice was hazed with the heavy pull of attraction that came with prolonged physical touch that had Claire rallying to keep herself steady.

 

"To forage, Fraser. That is what I plan on doing none of your foolishness." If she had meant to sound authoritative she failed as her breath was light and airy giving her away.

 

"Och, back to Fraser, is it? Did ye forget my name already, shall I remind you?"

 

"You have something more creative then a gentle reminder."

 

"I can think of one way. Ye may like it, maybe just as much as I, but know this, I dinna make idle threats, Sassenach. It will no' be gentle."

 

  
\------

 

As promised Jamie told her the tales of the of his youth from the _Cailleac_ h, _"The Queen of Winter"_ to his personal favorite, _"The Mighty Finn Mac Cumhail"_. He acted out the stories with invisible swords and tackling shadowy foes (sometimes her in mock tussle) that she could easily imagine him as the child he was, a heathen Jenny had said, jumping from haylofts and trees with reckless abandon doing just the same. She was completely taken with him. A man she had found to be impossible just a few weeks ago and was still so but much more.

 

Claire encountered some flowers bundled near a split tree, abandoning _'Finn'_ to fight the fire breather Aillen himself for petals of white _Bellis Perennis._

 

"Everlasting beauty." Jamie translated as he bent to where she knelt, making it a point she know he wasn't just talking about the flower. Claire politely ignored him and settled herself to pick the delicate flowers and add them to her basket, taking care to keep them intact. "What ye use the bitty flowers for, Sassenach?" He inquired helping her uproot them with the same care she showed.

 

  
"To relieve swelling in tissue, aid in digestion, a great deal really. If you want to make a tonic you can steep the petals with raspberry leaves then drink under a waxing moon." Jamie raised a brow at the small plant. "Ye told me you traveled all over but I've always wondered who taught ye all these things, Sassenach. To drink flowers at moonlight sounds pagan."

 

  
"From shamans I observed under a starlight sky along the Nile." She said it with a deliberate straight face but seeing his own that screamed in alarm 'WITCH' she further explained that her Uncle Lamb would gift her books on any subject she asked for, in most cases botany, so she wouldn't pester him.

 

"He was a bachelor of bad habits who didn't know what to do with me once my parents passed." Always preoccupied with himself she never thought he cared much for her until he too was gone. "I hardly remember them, I was so young. Anytime I asked Uncle Lamb he would always say ' _later Claire, another time.'_ Never found the time to in the end." Her voice cracked but the words continued to flow from being dammed for so long "All I have are fragments of moments that may be a child's imagination or dreams. The only truth I know is how they died." It was only when she felt Jamie's warm hands tight against on her own she felt the crushed petals in her fists.

 

"You dinna need to tell me anymore if it pains ye." Jamie cupped her cheeks his sky blue eyes filled with gentle understanding.

 

"I soured a perfectly fine day didn't I?" she frowned.

 

"I recall pouring my heart out to ye and in return you held my hand and called me friend. Joy's and grievances, ken?" Claire cracked a smile and he continued to stroke her cheeks."Come, let's find ye some happiness." He made to stand but she pulled him back to her.

 

  
"I don't need to find it, not anymore." Her golden eyes bared her heart to him ready to let him see her, know her if even only a fraction more. The realization of it sent Jamie aflame. 

 

  
"Mo nighean donn," Jamie whispered.

 

  
"What does that mean?"

 

  
“My brown haired lass." He replied lovingly, proudly.

 

  
"And here I thought you were calling me something wicked, Fraser." His brows shot up.

 

  
"I warned ye, Sassenach."Jamie leaned in until their layers of clothes shyed nothing away. "I mean to make ye remember me, I must burn my name to your lips, if ye wish it so." His voice held a passion tightly reined in for her to accept or deny.

 

Her eyelids fluttered shut in answer and felt the promise of him on her parted lips.

 

  
Jamie was the sun itself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **The medical jargon is a mashup of two different plants, one I looked up and another in the books because raspberry leaves don't have a cute name. Don't take it to heart.
> 
> So, the day I posted the last chapter I couldn't fall asleep and ended up thinking about J/C scenarios to pass the time and thought of a cute scene of them in the grass that I really loved. It didn't make the cut ( just didn't work for this version of them) but I had already written most of this so I decided to go ahead and post it. I hope you like it even if nothing happens. 
> 
> The next chapter is still the last in my head. I ended up over compensating my plot hole and ended up with another. So logic be damned I'll just have fun with it.
> 
> Also, had anybody noticed how nothing bad has happened to these two in a while?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the last chapter. I will never predict an ending to a story I write, ever. I just wish I hadn't rushed their realtionship in the beginning when I thought this was a 5 chapter story. So many stories of Jamie landing in shit I could have wrote.

  
It was a day of catching up.

 

Jamie was tending to his duties of a working farm along with getting ready for quarter day. That meant the possibility of not seeing eachother that day or even the next which they both had found disheartning. So Claire busied herself.

 

However, lavender dusted her tabletops and chamomile petals her green dress. Jars sat in neat rows uncorked waiting to be filled. A leather bound book that kept records of her patients ailiments laid opened to an unfinished freshly inked page for she had fumbled with the quill and nearly tipped over the ink bottle.

 

All that had been left undone for every time she attempted any task she was hit by the swell of emotions that had been the cause of her neglect.

 

Even when she tried distraction the warm flutter would come back in force turning into a hot pulse deep within that radiated to every nerve ending as if in revenge for trying to stifle it. And why should she. She was happy. Not just in newfound safety of a home and pride in her work but wholeheartedly happy. And so was Jamie. In all the time she had known him he had carried a weight with him. Quick to temper and quick to quarrel. But now it had been lifted with his sister's forgiveness and with his sudden feelings for her.

 

Jamie had wanted her and made that quite clear. She felt it in his words that sought to give her laughter and ease her pain while asking nothing in return but for her to simply be. She felt it in his kiss. Maybe chaste by his standards for the regretful moan he made when they parted, propriety taking over, but even in its briefness they had managed to leave the other with swollen lips that she could still feel burn.

 

She remembered feeling his lips graze against her cheek and heavy breath hot in her ear whispering something she sure was either touchingly sweet or something to be slapped for. She didn't really give a damn. The only coherent thing she could focus on was her own heartbeat pounding away in her ears deafening her and the flash of heat that lingered still over every inch of flesh.

 

The bloody bastard was right she did swoon and more, she burned for him.

 

She had wanted to blame the effect on simple deprivation of a man's affections but not even with her husband did she feel so consumed. Even when it had been good.

 

She could still remember the way he smelled, the thick, dark richness of his favorite tabacco, the same as Uncle Lamb's, with touches of camphor from the balm she had given him for his joints to ease his aches. It clung to his clothes and skin, the sheets of their bed and even her own self was marked as his possession. Instead of finding solace in her husband's scent enveloping her it unsettled her.

 

Jamie, however was in a constant state of hay, dirt, horse and occasionally shit and all she wanted to do was push her face against his chest and let his musk coat her lungs to wash over her in comfort. Lately he had the air of fresh clean soap, not of lye but something floral and light. Maybe more pleasant but it amused her that a man who she was once so sure never gave her much affectionate thought was suddenly so self conscious of her opinion of him. Then again she was near panic when Jamie saw her hair in it's natural state of chaos.

 

Replaying yesterday's events she was startled back to the reality of a doctor's life by incessant knocking at her front door. She sighed. The work in front of her would have to be left for later.

 

"Maybe the next patient needs an arm extraction." The image of it delighting her as the knocking became louder. "I haven't used my saw in ages."

 

She opened the door to find wee Rabbie frantically stuffing something down the back poclet of his breeks. Claire quirked an eyebrow, "What are you trying to hide there, Rabbie?"

 

"Nothin' Mistress - I mean, it's tha Laird, he wanted me ta bring ye this." Rabbie pulled the envelope from his opposite pocket and held it up to her nose for her to grab. "Said I must see it ta ye safely." He beamed with pride at fulfilling his task.

 

"Thank you Rabbie, the Laird is lucky to have you." Rabbie's chubby cheeks pinked at the complimet then peered past her to the cupboard along the wall behind her where she kept a stone jar filled with balls of honey usually for her younger patients.

 

"It's up in -"

 

"I remember!" Or ones who happened to be most talkative about certain red heads and needed to be rewarded. With Rabbie elbow deep in sweets she glanced down at the paper in hand.

 

It was a small white envelope - well once white, it had smudges of small fingerprints lining it- tied up with a blue silk ribbon with a lopsided bow, made with fingers too big that caused the corner of her lips to curl. Removing the bow and tucking it in her palm, Claire opened the note to find a cluster of delicate powdery blue flowers lining a single stem- Forget-Me-Nots. The curl broke out to a full fledged smile and a warmth spread to her heart at the thought of the hulking man picking such small flowers with gentleness. Did he even know what he picked or was it just the shade of blue that caught his eye?

 

Claire looked past the flowers and found his neat script. Four words stood out from the rest. The directness of the them causing her face to glow several shades of pink. She traced the words with her fingertips along with the indentions of faint scratches of words deemed unworthy. How many papers littered his floor before deciding on this?

 

  
Claire, folded the note keeping the flower inside and pressed it between the pages of parchment in her medical book, leaving the ribbon to mark it's place. But then on second thought..

 

  
\----

 

  
The note had asked if she could to meet him at midday at Lallybroch, the only moment he had free and that's where Claire found Jamie, midway back from the fields with Ian, too distracted with talk to notice her. He was wearing a well worn kilt, faded and splotched with grime and hay scattered all over his person but more importantly, what caught her attention was how he was without a vest. His shirt was thin, sleeves rolled up to the elbow and clinged to his heated skin allowing her to see the outline of tightly drawn muscles that stretched from chest to shoulder down his arms that flexed as he moved. She knew he was fit but she had never really pondered about what was beneath all the layers, too distracted by sarcastic exchanges of rich vocabulary he would direct her way.

 

"Ye've a lass ey'en ye Jamie boy." Ian announced startling both she and Jamie. He turned her way and had to bite his lip to keep his joy at bay and was doing a terrible job of it. So was she. But as she approached a sudden shyness crept over her despite the day befores events at not knowing how to greet him. A touch of a hand was no longer enough, a kiss on the cheek a tease and the only place left wasn't for prying eyes. Luckily, Ian solved the problem for her.

 

"Rud math tha fèileadh ort!" Ian cackled causing Jamie's ears to tinge with scarlet while Claire thanked her English ignorance for sparing her from the remark.

 

"Dùnadh suas thu! " Jamie shouted and shoved his bastard of a brother-in-law nearly into the ground. Ian roared with laughter not bothered in the slightest by Jamie's threats, giving the two a wink and went on ahead to Lallybroch for lunch. Jamie turned his attention back to Claire, flushed cheeked and with flyaway curls around her face that he couldn't help himself, dirtied as he was, and laid the back of his palm against her smooth cool cheek hoping she didn't mind a bit of smudge."I'm wet as spit and I dinna want to dirty ye, Sassenach, but I canna see ye and no' touch ye."

 

Claire could feel the heat rush to her cheeks as a tenderness washed over her. "You are a right filthy Scot and smell something awful but I really don't care." She pushed herself forward letting her hands graze his chest as they made their way to his sun kissed hair, tugging the damp locks down so his lips met hers. She felt Jamie moan against her mouth as he gripped her hard to his chest, his strained muscles relax into her embrace and nearly toppling her over if not for his arms steadying them and pressing her hips flush to his. Their fingers digging deeply into one another's neck, shoulders, waist...surely leaving bruises in their wake.

 

This time propriety could go hang.

 

Many minutes later they stood with their foreheads pressed against one other, waiting to regain concious thought as the dizziness faded away and their hearts settled. He let his fingers stroke the soft curve of her waist then the length of her back, up to her hair tangling his fingers in the silky brown to loosen the bun, coming into contact with the blue ribbon and gave it a gentle tug earning him a shy smile. She liked him fine, he mused. Verra fine.

 

"So, was it the wee flowers or the bit of Catullus that I have to thank for your affection, mo nighean donn?"

 

Claire tilted her head with an amused smile on her face."The flowers were sweet but never in a million lifetimes would I have pegged you as a reader of poetry."

 

"Maybe I hav'na traveled like ye but I'm well read in the classics. I ken I was riskin' a ribbin' from ye when I wrote it but ye've made me a heartsick fool, Sassenach." He kissed her freckled cheek." 'sides I had to make up for the bawdy words I said to ye when we parted. I'm surprised ye dinna knee me on the spot."

 

Claire narrowed her eyes, "What exactly did you say, you wretch?"

 

"Ye dinna ken?" Jamie scrunched his brows.

 

"Well you did have me at a disadvantage." He had a smug grin on his face that reeked of male pride and Claire had an urge to slap it right off or challenge him to do her one better.

 

"I'm at yer mercy now and I ken a bonny place past the tree line." Jamie gestured to the thick woods off to the side of the path.

 

"Do you now? How many a lass have you taken to that particular 'bonny' spot?" She asked, weighing the best options of attack for the uncouth remark sure to cross his lips if that smirk was any indication.

 

"I dinna take em to the trees, Sassenach, I take the lasses to the haystacks." Jamie's smile was wicked with delight until he felt her stomp on his foot.

 

"Ifrinn! Ye no' ken yer own strength, woman!" He made to grab for her but nearly tripped while she with perfectly functioning limbs dodged away, giggling at his expense.

 

"Serves you right for testing me."

 

"I aught to punish ye for that." His blue eyes held a dark gleam and Claire couldn't help feel a thrill course through her veins wondering what that would entail."Would too if I wasnna dead tired from pitching hay all morning and my wame twisting wi' hunger." Jamie said with a weary sigh, "But dinna fash Sassenach, I'll get my revenge on ye when I'm properly tended to."

 

  
\------

 

  
They walked to Lallybroch arm in arm to find Laoghaire, hair and clothes fit for kirk ,sitting on the doorstep waiting expectantly for Jamie. Claire could see Laoghaire bite the inside of her cheek and her face go the way of spoiled milk at seeing her on his arm. She tried to master her face, smile the sweet smile Jamie was used to seeing from her but it came across as pained and Claire felt sympathy for the girl and loosened her grip from Jamies, urging him to go to the girl.

 

"Laoghaire, were ye needn' me lass?" He spoke softly not wanting to be a cad to a girl he could see being shattered before his eyes.

 

"How could ye Jamie when ye knew how I felt about ye." Her voice wavered and cracked guilting Jamie to lay a hand on her shoulder in hopes to soothe her. She took his kindness and held it tightly near her bossom.

 

"Nay Laoghaire, ye need naught to embarrass yerself." Jamie chided, and moved his hand away from her grasp.

 

Laoghaire's sorrow turned to vile hatred as her face contorted showing the rotten center of a poison apple she was capable of being. "Embarress myself!? Ye are the one walkin' in shame wi' a Sassenach witch who sullies herself to any man who pleases!?" Claire felt the sting of her words that had at most been silent whispers behind her back and fought the urge to walk over and slap the lies from her mouth. The thought was echoed in Jamies mind as well for she saw how his fist were clenched tightly to the point his knuckles turned white.

 

"Hold yer tongue, child! I ken yer hurtin' and yer need to lash out at me but ye will no' speak of Claire wi' such venom in my presence or anyone elses, d'ye hear me?" His eyes were now blazen with anger, his pulse throbbing frantically. Laoghaire felt the chill of fright under his seething gaze that held none of the affection she swore he had for her. She let the tears spill down her face, desperate. "She's put a hex on ye I know it." She cried " She's a witch and she has laid her black hands on yer soul. Can't ye see?"

 

"Claire's laid her hands on my heart wi'out even knowing it and I've given it to her freely. Whether she will it or no' she has it." Jamie looked Claire's way, showing her the earnest truth in his words with his gaze startling her of their revelation.

 

"Then ye'll burn right wi' her." Laoghaire stated flatly, defeated, and moved past him pausing briefly by Claire hissing words that needed no translation.

 

Claire could hear Jamie's footsteps behind her then felt his hands travel along her arm as he turned her to seek assurance that no damage was done."Dinna pay her filth any mind, mo chridhe. A child wi' empty threats is no' worry to us." Jamie cupped her face in his large hands that should have calmed her but she shook her head and pushed him away.

 

"Laoghaire isn't the only one who holds that opinion of me. Not all of your tenents but enough to question their loyalty to you for choosing to spend your time with a Sassenach whore." Claire's voice was coarse and hard edged trying to will him to the reality of a continued union with her would involve that she herself had scarcely considered, too caught up in her own happiness.

 

"Say that word again and I'll thrash ye, my Sassenach." He spoke the threat with such gentleness that she didn't notice him move closer to her, careful not to touch her but to reassure her of his presence. "Even if ye were still the same woman who I once thought a walkin' ill-wish I wouldna part wi' ye for their sake or even my own. As laird, friend or whatever ye please to call me, trust me to stand by ye, Claire, for that is all I ask of ye, no more." _Not even to hold yer heart._

 

Jamie's face hovered above hers, his blue eyes shone with more then affection leaving her uneasy yet she had the urge to stroke him from temple to stubbled cheek as if he were a bead of a rosary. The promise was there for her to take. A sliver of momentary bliss with the consequences sure to follow. And they always followed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was writing a future chapter I realized I needed to add another notch in j/c's relationship (I'm terrified of writing intimacy) so I wrote this bit of semi-filler. But for a chapter so straight forward I ended up writing 9 drafts or more of this damn thing. So many different scenarios that I couldn't land on one, even this morning I decided to scrap the ending and change it again. Urgh!! So if you reread this at a later date and its completely different it's because I decided that draft 6 was the better option (draft 6 being an upturned kilt). Not joking, I want to change and add words right now.
> 
> Since I wrote this so many times the words really washed together so if something doesn't make sense hit me a question.
> 
> Also I will be crazy busy for the next week or so. I'll try to get a chapter up by next week but if I don't just know I'm working double time. Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'a a little unpleasentness that's marked with a bunch of these **** I was very vague and made it very brief but feel free to scroll past.

 

_Previously_

 

_"Even if ye were still the same woman who I once thought a walkin' ill-wish I wouldna part wi' ye for their sake or even my own. As laird, friend or whatever ye please to call me, trust me to stand by ye, Claire, for that is all I ask of ye, no more." Not even to hold yer heart._

 

_Jamie's face hovered above hers, his blue eyes shone with more then affection leaving her uneasy yet she had the urge to stroke him from temple to stubbled cheek as if he were a bead of a rosary. The promise was there for her to take. A sliver of momentary bliss with the consequences sure to follow. And they always followed her._

 

  
_\-------_

 

  
Claire wasn't sure how she would even answer Jamie. This morning she was enjoying the pleasantness of attention, attraction and now she was given a man's loyalty of heart and protection without him knowing her whole self. Now the longer she hesitated the more his face faltered, retreating further in to himself.

 

"I dinna mean to trouble ye, if ye canna put yer faith in me -"

 

"You've proven yourself Jamie," Claire quickly interrupted. "From the very first you proved it to me. You gave me a home when I was destitute," she cracked a tiny smile, "Even risked bodily injury just being near me but there's more to it then that." She struggled to get the words out, to reveal her selfishness to him, for him to possibly cast her aside.

 

"About what you said to Laoghaire. I can accept an attraction, a desire - I myself have been baffled by my own towards you." That got his heart rushing with hope. "But we've barely even seen each other as more then friends, you hardly know me." Jamie was baffled by her statement and pushed the hair away from his fave, digging his nails in to his scalp, scrunching his brows.

 

"I've known ye for nearly a year and every damn moment is burned into my brain and scarred into my skin. Enough time to know all yer faults. From the fact yer stubborn and fierce as Lucifer, that ye talk daft to yer wee garden that makes me question yer sanity and that ye have little regard fer yer own safety if there is someone who needs ye. Though that's less of a fault and more to scare holy hell outta of me." She half laughed at the all the memories she had found herself in need of him.

 

"But most of all," his voice turning tender, his hand hovering about her face craving a touch but pulling it back to a fist against his thigh," I ken that ye like me more then the day before. I can see it on yer face, the way ye look at me with those eyes like rich whisky. Do ye ken how they shine when I make ye laugh or even when yer cross wi' me? They do mo nighean donn and when ye touch me even if it's just a brush of yer hand I can feel ye fight the pull as much as I not to go for more. Ye canna lie to me that way."

 

She couldn't, even now as his words pierced her heart that sent her trembling and wanting to throw herself at him. She crossed her arms at her middle, her own embrace a poor substitute for his.

 

"Now, I've had enough woman in my life who think they ken my heart best. I'm no child Claire and if I havena proved it to ye now then allow me to and tell me, what is so broke in ye that ye think I wouldna love?"

 

"Love?" Jamie had said as much to Laoghaire but to hear the word so clearly stated jarred her more then the first time.

 

"Aye, I damn well love ye and if ye dare to challenge me on that I'll thrash ye with my hands, mouth or both, woman!"

 

Claire's eyes snapped from pain to fire."Threaten to beat me again and I'll tear yer beating heart out where you stand!"

 

Jamie was taken aback and felt his face flared red not just by her outburst but at how for a second time she shot his heart down when he never asked for hers in return. His arms that had been shaking at his sides lifted abruptly catching Claire off guard and grabbed her by the shoulders and brought her close enough she could feel his breath stealing her own.

 

"Might as well ye already have yer claws in my chest and gut twisting away wi' yer words!" Jamie's spat, his voice heavy with the bleeding wound that was only intensifying.

 

"If that's what you think then I'll leave you be, claws and all." Claire could barely muster a whisper as she tried to release her arm from Jamie's grasp quickly becoming painful.

 

"No, Sassenach - Claire, I dinna mean it. Please dinna leave." Jamie panicked.

 

"Jamie, let me go." She didn't rip his hands away nor punch, kick or yell. Nothing but a plea that left him hollow.

 

Jamie dropped his hands and watched her go.

 

________

 

Two Days Later

 

  
No holy scripture was read this morning. Jamie couldn't sit still long enough to read any words of wisdom to guide him. He had too much whisky the night before, his body ached from limb to limb, he had faint pricks that would shoot down his arms and legs that he couldn't shake but most of all he couldn't conjure Claire's face without the cold pang of guilt gnawing him inside to the bottom of his wame.

 

  
He regretted it all. Regretted his words. Regretted how he had given her his oath of love and protection only to lash out on her. He was no better than a child. Jenny said as much when he found her waiting behind the front doors, listening.

 

She clicked her tongue at seeing him, never one to hide her opinion whether it be kind or not. Jamie expected her to leave him to sit in his own mess, instead she laid her small hands, rough from wash on either side of his face, her eyes held a tenderness that resembled their mothers that he felt fit to cry there on her shoulder. "Oh, mo graidh, ye do have mutton fer brains, I canna lie to ye, but this will pass, it always does wi' ye two. Give her time and all be well."

 

"I dinna ken it will. I've never lost my temper in such a way. Nor she wi me." His eyes searched hers, lost like the wee bairn he used to be when he was small enough for her to hold in her lap, needing her now as much as then.

 

"Love will do that which ye think he arena capable of. Good and true, bad and foolish." Jenny's voice was so gentle it was almost foreign to him.

 

"Come lay her head, mo braithar, its been a trying day."

  
  
'All be well,' she said. Yet here he was sitting in a dark room made for a man and title he wasn't worthy of, wishing the rooster cockling outside his window was on his plate fer breakfast, extra crisp, that taunting bastard.

 

But instead of setting things right between he and Claire, Jamie readied himself for another day of labour that held no promise of distraction.

 

  
\------

 

  
He was dead tired, shaking with it.

 

After a morning filled with patching and mending fences and stable doors, Jamie was out in the fields with Ian and a couple of his farm hands deep in the drudgery of shoveling dirt for the dikes in the upper fields. He was taking his frustrations out on a thick patch of hardened earth, like rock, hacking away like Claire with her wee slugs. She got a vicious delight out of it maybe he could as well, imagining the stress leave his body with each strike and twist of a wrist as he sent the loosened earth off on its way.

 

Jamie was so deeply engrossed at his now chosen enemy that he hadn't noticed his frantic shoveling was drawing the attention of the other men. Ian relieved them, for the light of day was waning and walked to Jamie careful he didn't startle him lest he get a mouth of dirt or metal.

 

"Jamie lad, I can hear ye thinkin' from here. Why do ye no' quit yer sulking and go to Claire in the morn'."

 

"Im no' sulking, Ian, besides she doesna want to see me, I told ye as much." Jamie retorted twisting his shovel and feeling resistance tossed it aside.

 

"Does she no'?" Ian asked, leaning over on his own shovel wiping his face on the sleeve of his shirt. "Ye ken ye did the same wi' Jenny and I, we all did. Let our guilt and cowardice sit and grow. Dinna do it wi' Claire, for the lass is just as mad fer ye and is fretting 'bout ye just as much. It's what ye do when yer scared of losin' somethin' precious."

 

"She is that. But what if sorry isna enough?" It was another excuse of cowardice that had Ian wanting to jam his piece of metal upside his skull.

 

"God help the lass fer thinkin' yer arse is the light of her day," Ian muttered not caring for the daggers sent his way"Alright then, come now 'fore Jenny feeds our plates to the dogs." Jamie bent down, nearly losing step to pick up his thrown shovel when he caught Ian's worried eye.

 

"Ye ken ye look like shite, Jamie?" He knew it but he could do little about -

 

"Ye think me ill, Ian? I should see someone about it then, aye?" The corner of Jamie's lip curled upward.

 

"Now? Ye, pick now to grow yer bawls? It's near dark. Wait till the morn'."

 

"She canna turn me away if she think me near dead." Jamie slapped Ian on the back, grinning from ear to ear.

 

"If ye dinna come back till mornin' I'll consider ye marrit!"

 

Jamie left Ian, past the fields, through the thick wood and down the little old path.

 

________

 

  
Claire had been mending the hem of her good green dress in the last of the suns evening light, her eyes straining with the effort to see the even line she had been stitching only for her to stab her finger hard, again, for the third time in the span of minutes."

 

"Jesus H. Christ!" She stuck her finger in her mouth hoping to slow the blood and ease the sting that only held a fraction of what she had afflicted herself with.

 

Before she could dwell on it the she heard someone at her back door, knocking softly. Claire put her needle and thread along with her dress aside hoping to see blood, a broken, busted limb, anything that would consume her thoughts and keep her hands busy.

 

Opening it a crack she found Jamie.

 

His hair was standing on end in a furious mass of crimson waves. His shirt was opened at the neck from a day outdoors with his broad chest heaving fast in what she wildly thought was from unbridled passion until she saw his heavily stubbled face, strained from exertion and fatigue yet it held a shy smile.

 

"You look terrible." Claire said softy scrutinizing his face and limbs to see if he was injured, suppressing the urge to run her hands over him and take him to her chest.

 

"I caught a chill and heard of a powerful and gracious wisewoman and have sought her healing touch." There was an ache to his tone under the armour of humor that had Claire opening the door wide for him, leading him inside to sit at the table where she had been mending and where they had always seemed to do so for each other.

 

  
She pushed his dampen hair from his eyes to lay her palm on his forehead . Always cool to the touch, it took tremendous effort from Jamie not to press her hand to every inch of his skin.

 

Aside from a pale face that was slowly regaining color and ragged appearance he looked well.

 

"Not necessarily a mortal wound you have there, my lad. Not even a fever."

 

"'Cause ye laid yer healing hand on me and banished the sick away." He took notice of the bloodied pricks that stood in contrast to her pale fingertips as she withdrew her hand.

 

"Clumsy with the needle." She admitted, abashed.

 

"May I do the same fer ye?" He laid his palm open for her to take or refuse. She took it, letting a small gasp escape when his lips softly grazed each of the fresh marks that graced her skin, then down to her palm with the now pale white line, slightly curved as if to conform just to his kiss. When he lifted his eyes to hers she saw the raw vulnerability in them.

 

"I'm verra, verra sorry, my Sassenach, I said more nor I meant. To be so vicious towards yeI -" Claire's fingers brushed against him, halting his words.

 

"Forgiven, though you're not completely without fault, I didn't help matters. It's just you unsettled me so."

 

"I ken it now but may I ask, and I dinna want to create anymore strife between us, but where did ye think we were headed? Did ye think this a passing fancy?" There was no anger in his voice just confusion over their conversation that had quickly escalated.

 

"I didn't allow myself to think ahead. You captured me, Jamie, made me feel safe and wanted when I hadn't for so long."

 

'Safe'

 

Jamie was flooded with the memory of their first meeting. Her state of dress and need of shelter. In need of kindness.

 

"When ye came to me that first day, who were ye running from, Claire?" Her jaw tightened and Jamie could see her pulse at her throat beating erratically.

 

"I ask ye to trust in me that I will no' turn from ye."

 

"Do you recall how I told you I had met every manner of man?" He remembered. He had thought she said it to only soothe him, too caught up in the closeness of her to ponder her words then.

 

"And that I was far above all the rest." He spoke it gently as he joined their hands no intention of letting her go this time.

 

  
******

  
_It was in London they became acquainted, her and John Randall. After her Uncle's death he reappeared and became the one good thing in her life, her constant charm she thought. When he offered her marriage in what she perceived was love she accepted. But there was a change in him or rather he felt no need to play his role of husband to her anymore. John would leave for days on end with no word to when he would come back and when he did..._

 

_Claire held back from telling Jamie that he would come to her with force, ruthlessly, painfully._

 

_But it was then Claire noticed marks on his back and chest, along with the ones she made in defence, like he had been in a bloody brawl. It had disturbed her, left her with with haunting questions she knew of only one of answering. She followed him one night, had treaded carefully to not be seen by him, the streets nearly empty, to a one way alley. She held her back against the wall, too afraid of being caught to see but she could hear him, them. Her suspicions confirmed she should have left but then she heard a muffled cry of help._

 

_She found him with a boy, a young gangly thing barely visible in the gleam of the moonlight. Her stomach dropped and cold flood of shock that her heart. John was too caught up to notice her as she ran up behind him and bashed his back with all that she had knocking him sideways leaving the boy, bloodied face and weeping to run for it. Claire wasn't as quick, her skirts too heavy and inhibiting her._

 

_When he threw her against the wall with his hands around her throat, whispering his sweet love for all that he was to do to her, he hadn't taken the time to notice how Claire's hands were firmly wrapped around a knife. If there was thing her Uncle taught her it was that no street was safe for a woman unguarded._

 

_He dropped dead like a fly and she ran like hell._

  
**********

 

  
"They found his body, asked me questions and gave their condolences but at the first chance I was given, I left. I took only my few possessions nothing of his, not even his money. Thenthen I found you." The words clung thick in her throat, the air thin making her light headed, her eyes stinging but she refused to let any tears fall for she held no remorse for the man.

 

Jamie had stayed silent through it out, his stoicism driving her anxiety to trembling, her nails digging deep enough to break skin. The only reaction from him was to press his thumb in circles at the back of her palm as if to encourage her for more. To release.

 

"So there it is, your devotion for me comes at a price if they ever do suspect something amiss." A sad smile broke across her face at the possibility"All that ill luck that befell us must have been a warning for you."

 

Jamie's voice was hoarse from all that he heard when he finally spoke."It was so - a warning, I mean. I get them from time to time, never paid it much mind, till I noticed I'd get them whenever ye were being foolheided. And I think it must be our souls calling out to one another when we are need and I kent that since we came together, no calamity has touched us. No bumps or bruises we didna inflict on another," He thumbed her lip in remembrance of said infliction, feeling it quiver under his thumb"My sister sings yer praises now, even Laoghaire left wi' her tail between her legs." Jamie bumped his forehead against hers, a smile finally blooming.

 

"And what I did, what I kept from you, it doesn't bother you?" One last question before she could let the dam break.

 

"How could it? Ye saved a child, risking yer own self to do so. I only wish the man were here in front of me, I would break every bone in his body, shatter them to dust for every foul touch he left on ye."

 

"Whatever may come, Claire. If this damned house finally collapses on us or redcoats cross my lands fer ye, I would sacrifice my body to shield ye and damn the bastard who tried to take ye away from me." With tears flowing loose Claire finally excepted the promise of all that was James Fraser.

 

"God, you love me." She beamed.

 

"Haven't I been saying that, Sassenach?" Jamie wiped away her falling stream of tears,"Christ woman if anything I may love ye more."

 

With nothing left to seperate them they grasped each other fiercely with Jamie crashing himself to Claire's lips then pulling her to his lap letting the heat that had been smoldering over the days envelope and melt them to the core, their sense of peace returning. 

 

When the need for air was finally too great to ignore they parted with face splitting smiles, glowing red and breathless but joyously happy.

 

  
"Will you stay?" Claire shyly asked, even though the sting of his lips and scruff that trailed from her mouth to nape should have been answer enough.

 

Jamie could barely make out her face in the light of the dimming fire, the sun having set sometime ago but knew the same want that pulsed through his flesh was echoed in hers.

 

  
His breath coming in short puffs he answered.

 

  
"If ye'll have me, mo ghràidh."

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter....With an epilogue to come!!! Also this chapter was loong so any mistakes feel free to shout at me.
> 
> I want to thank every single person who read this, left a kudos or a comment, you are the loveliest people ever and were a boost to my confidence.
> 
> And to my cheerleaders who kept me sane and driven to finish this, You ladies are wonderful and I can't thank you enough!!!
> 
> I have one person left to thank at the end.

 

Claire awakened to a gentle stir of breath tickling just above her ear, soft and steady as the thrum of the strange curiosity that pulsed under her hand. Her mind still groggy, she let her fingers explore, tracing the terrain of warm contours, hard and smooth, that dipped into a valley of sprawling hairs. Her mind clicked.

"Jamie," Claire breathed, her face bloomed rosy pink with a wide grin of utter contentment that she hadn't dreamt him up. She snuggled closer to his sleeping frame, the heat of him seeping deep within her. Both still clothed.

It turns out high passions are well and good unless you're a farmer whose been nursing an aching heart with little to eat, even less sleep and muscles that spasmed from overuse.

  
\------

They were in a heated embrace, to put it delicately. Mouths and hands exploring flesh previously forbidden, bodies firmly melting into one another leaving secrets of modesty to fall away with every passing second. However, a promise of more was quenched with a loud rumble from Jamie's stomach that echoed in the room. Biting her lip to contain the giggles, Claire nudged her nose against his.

  
"Are you in need of nourishment, Mr. Fraser."

  
"Aye, if only she wouldna talk sae much." Jamie replied huskily and made to imprint his own mark on her neck when another wail of his wame protested, this time painfully that had him clenching his gullet. Seeing the look of betrayal from his own body across his face, Claire couldn't hold back, nearly falling out of his lap in full hearted laughter, intensifying with every filthy gaelic curse invoked by the frustrated Scot.

  
"It's not the end of the world, Jamie. We have all of time ahead of us." Claire assured him, dragging her fingers through his red mess of hair, grazing the sweep of bone under it before tucking the strays behind his ear. Hands moved to his tense neck and made motions to ease the rigidness of it. She had hoped to calm him with her touch but the hard set clench in his jaw and intense blue eyes nearly black in the dimming light told her otherwise. Claire quickly moved her hands away, down, but was met with his bare chest, for his shirt hung loose and low, rising and falling with haggard breath straining for control.

  
The fire emanating from him was burning her down to her core but reason and sense forced it's way to the forefront and she was reminded of the state of him when he came to her. The shake in his body not entirely due to where she was situated, the bags under his eyes and lines across his face that hadn't disappeared with caresses of love.

  
"When was the last time you had a meal?" Claire asked hoping to shift his mood. "And do note that whisky doesn't count. I can taste it on your lips." Poorly chosen words.

  
"Can ye now?" Jamie quirked an eyebrow," Remind me again what quenched yer thirst. Was it wine? Brandy perhaps?" Mouths close enough to fuse, his tongue lightly touched her bottom lip, making it and the whole of her body quiver and she quickly cleared her throat. 'stay on task' she reprimanded herself.

  
"You know fine it was plain old water...and whisky." She replied, short of breath." Now tell me Mr. Fraser, as your physician when did you last eat or I'll kick you out into the night." As if she had been planning to do just that, Jamie wrapped his arms firmly around her middle and gave her a dark glare daring her to try.

  
"This morning. Breakfast." Claire yanked a lock of his hair not satisfied."Ouch, woman! Fine it was a bowl - half a bowl of pattrich, could barely keep the lumps down."

  
"I'm sorry about that." She knew the source of his lose of appetite and couldn't help the guilt cross her face. Jamie lifted her chin and she saw in his eyes the peace they offered. No more needed to be said of that.

  
"Sit tight, I'll fetch you some food." Claire kissed him on his brow."I rather not have you faint on me." And with a tug to loosen his grip, ignoring his daggers of her abandonment (a true child he was!), she went to her cupboard.

  
She came back with a plate of a small cut of meat, another holding chunks of sheepmilk cheese and oatbread slathered with butter, more then fine, but with a heaping plate of mixed greens and veg from her garden that left Jamie thoroughly disturbed as to what a future of suppers from her hand would look like. He 'politely' ignored the plate of 'weeds' as he called it and went straight for the hearty food to fill his stomach.

  
All the while Claire observed him with a physicians eye. His movements that before had been both frantic in action yet deliberate in inciting sensation were now sluggish and his limbs weighed heavy as they moved around from plate to plate. Rubbing his neck his eyelids closed and his actions halted, experiencing a moment of relaxed calm his body relished. Catching himself he wretched his eyes open meeting hers in perfect understanding.

  
Jamie let out a long, deep exhale through his nose that may as well been steam from the doused fires within admitting defeat.

  
"I dinna like this one bit, Sassenach. Christ Almighty himself is keeping me honest and I dinna care fer it." The loathing in his tone was almost pitiful that she reached over to stroke his bony knuckles near white from being clenched.

 

"I rather think Christ is busy with more important things then what's going on under your breeks." The tired glaze in his eyes flashed bright as the sky at dawn.

 

"That's bawdy talk I have'na heard from ye. Keep going."

 

Claire rolled her eyes, "Shush and finish up then we can get to bed - to sleep." She quickly added as his hand traveled down to grip her thigh. She didn't bother to swat it away.

  
_____

  
Leaving empty plates but one meant for rabbits, Jamie washed his face,neck and hands of the days grime and turned his attention back to the other side of the room where a sheet of linen hanged. A partition. A point in the room a mystery to him until he watched her slide it aside.

 

A narrow bed.

 

Damn.

 

"I'll sleep by the hearth." Still giving warmth it wouldn't be too bad to sleep on the floor.

 

"You were more then willing with bed earlier." Reading his thoughts she added,"It's bigger then it looks and I won't stand to not have you near me. Now take off your boots."

 

"And you?" The words fell out of his mouth without much thought giving him a healthy glow of blush that reached his ears and then some, threateningly down below.

  
"Fairs, fair," Her words held a teasing confidence even as her fingers at the ties of her dress shook, "I won't be suffocating all night in a corset. But turn your back." Moving as if he were made of lead he did so.

 

"Sassenach, I may die a verra happy man tonight."

 

Or a frustrated one. Claire was dressed in only a blue robe and shift that had left Jamie in fidgety, horrible bliss. To have her in his arms was to fell every inch of her body, every curve and soft mound of flesh mold to his own and everytime they breathed he'd feel the pressure of her warm breast on his ribs that had him reciting the good Lords prayer.

 

  
\-------

 

  
In the end, Jamie fell asleep from sheer exhaustion and from Claire's angle she could see his long leg planted on the floor while the other, hooked under her own, was hanging off the edge of the bed while she was tucked comfortably, against him.

  
"Poor lad, you're going to ache from head to toe when you wake." Her whisper gave Jamie's sleepy form a shiver, his long arm already snaked around her waist, slid down to cup her bottom in greedy pursuit of his own want. He had made himself familiar with that part of her anatomy the night before but now it was against only two layers of work thin fabric that might as well not exist for how it seemed to burn right through to her skin. Any other thoughts were interrupted by the deep intake of air by a waking Scot.

  
Claire lifted her face to meet his. Gone were the shadows of tireless woes under his eyes, the lines of anguish that had been cut deep at his mouth too had vanished. She instead was greeted with tousled red gold hair and a sweet lopsided smile crossing his mouth that had him looking like a youth.

  
"Hello, mo nighean donn." He greeted with eyes soft in a drowsy daze of love that sent her heart in fluttering madness and a smile brilliant in happiness.

  
"Hello, Jamie." She kissed him on his warm cheek, more then stubbled now, letting her lips follow the line of his jaw down to the curve of his chin, enjoying the feel of the half rough hairs prickling her lips. "Did you sleep well?"

"On this bed? No, my back is 'bout to split like wood. Wi' ye curled like a kitten to my heart? Verra well and then some, Sassenach." He gave her his owlish wink that had her grinning in near laughter.  
"And then some, indeed." Claire replied, as she kissed the tip of his nose."Next time we might try yon haystack."

"I dinna think I'll survive till next time?" Jamie gruffly interrupted,"I rather have ye now, sae soft and willing in my hands."

With arms wrapped tight around her waist and a yelp from Claire, Jamie pulled her nearly on top and kissed her soundly. It was hot, slow and completely thorough with Jamie's hands joining in not to be forgotten.

  
"Enjoying yourself with my arse are you?" Claire teased between kisses lighting Jamie's eyes with mirth.

  
"Yers?" He asked innocently," Thought it was my leg gone numb from this godforsaken bed and I was trying to rub the feeling back in. Should have known better, yer arse fills my hands like a plump, fat ham."

  
"You cad!" Insulted, Claire propped herself up from his chest with her face hanging over his own and hair surrounding him in a veil of her soft unruly tresses ready to smother him. "Is that what you panted in my ear that day?"

  
"Och, I've offended ye," he smiled in delight" Weel, since I'll meet my death as soon as I venture home ye might punish me now."

The opportunity for revenge, of any sort, was tempting especially with that damn smug grin plastered on his face.

"Hands or mouth?" Claire narrowed her eyes, repeating the threat he had given her.

So fierce and ready to bite she was never more beautiful to him. Jamie hesitated long enough to cup her cheek and brush his thumb against the pattern of freckles he swore to memorize.

  
"What ye think decent, mo ghridh."

  
"You've said that before, what does it mean?"

  
"Something quite fiendish I fear -" Claire silenced him breathless before he gave her a reason to pummel him senseless.

  
"My love," he breathed into her mouth," But it doesna seem nearly enough."

Jamie rolled so he was hovering above Claire with arms on either side of her. His eyes roamed over her body, now more revealed with the parting of her robe and barely visible shift. Shafts of light caressed the sweet lines of her breasts as he traced the curve of each one with his gaze, heavy and open with desire. He caught the shade of a nipple so deeply coloured in blush. It was only when Claire touched his arms, whispered his name from her pink pouty lips, to bring him closer or to jostle him awake, he didn't know, that the trance was broken.

"A dhia! It'll be moonrise before I leave yer bed!"

Jamie sat straight up while Claire quickly fixed the ties of her robe bringing her knees to her chest as if that alone would still the blood cold in her veins.

He rubbed his eyes to drive the image away but it only brought forth the thought of her breast in place of his hands. He left the bed entirely, his body aching, for the small window left ajar ahead, adjusting his breeks to alleviate himself but it only seemed to cling tighter to him. The cool breeze slapped him hard in his face but he wished for a lower aim.  
Claire fighting her own struggle of inner need that he ignited, watched Jamie helpless to aid him in his own. She could see the muscles in his back and arms strained nearly to rupture slowly deflate and unwind, the clench of his fist regain color and his eyes close while reciting latin laced with gaelic to himself in prayer. She felt oddly proud of herself.

"I have to go." Jamie sighed in defeat onced calmed, that echoed the night before. If he didn't go home now his sister would come for him, buckets of frigid water in hand. With a slight twist of his head, he checked to see if she were covered and mildly disappointed that she was. "Come wi' me?"

"To Lallybroch? You me and your family? They'll burn us to stake."

"Ashes to ashes." He smirked." If I have to feel the sting of judgement fer our lack of morals I rather have ye by my side."

His body now tempered cool he allowed himself to move closer, letting his palm find hers. "More then a bit of that chaffing will be directed towards me, Sassenach, and chaffing it will be."

Claire contemplated for a moment of being in the presence of his sister and had to fight the urge to delve back into her bed and take Jamie with her to pound the image away. But it wouldn't do to fight the inevitable.

"I see I have no choice in the matter I did ask you to stay." She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back.

"I would have slept on yer doorstep if ye didn't." Jamie leaned in for a chaste kiss, but lingering long enough to make her heart pace faster and pulled her to her feet feeling the muscles in his arm and back spasm from the action.

"Damn, bed. Is this why ye have such a foul temper at times Sassenach?"

"I think that has more to do with the Scot that can't keep his bloody mouth shut." With a biting smile so honest in sentiment she kissed his cheek and threw him out to the cold so she could wash and dress.  
  
When ready, she found him sitting against her door waiting, arms crossed over his lap. He stood up to find her in the lovely shade of earthy green dress, curly hair loose and down with strands gathered in the back tied up with his blue ribbon. His lady, his Sassenach.

"Yer verra beautiful, Claire." Palm opened she placed hers in his. A perfect fit.

"That's better."

\-------

The four of them were sitting opposite each other on the plush cushions of the Lallybroch parlour. Ian, usually with a kind smile that could tame a bee hive was now plastered with a cheeky grin a mile long. While Jenny, like her brother, could school her features to stone.

  
"Ye came home rather late."

  
"Aye."

  
"With a lass I see."

  
"Get to it, Janet."

  
"Are ye still a good Catholic boy, Jamie lad?"

"We didna do a thing." Jamie said regretfully with a thoroughly Scottish grunt that sent Ian and Jenny into an eruption of laughter.

  
"Ye ken yer lass has a glass face."

  
"Bloody hell." Claire drowned in the horror of her own doing and would have if not for Jamie's tight grip keeping her afloat.

  
"Weel, nothing that would be shameful." Eyes on Claire he kissed the back of her hand and turned to give his sister a pointed look to drop the discussion.

  
"If that's all ye have to say then ye can feed yer beasties." Horse, sow and dogs she informed Claire. "No one can get near them lest they want to be kicked, chewed or stampeded." Jenny spoke from experience and wasn't about to repeat it with a bairn in her belly.

 

"Ye can wash after and get a change of cloth and join us fer lunch when ye look like a proper Laird." Jamie sat unmoving and looked to Claire, not yet ready to leave her side.

  
"Hurry now, Jaime the bairn is making me hunger something fierce and I canna promise ye a meal if ye dawdle." She made a gesture to shoot him away.

  
"Yer lucky yer carrying my nephew or I'd hang ye by the ankles." Jamie mumbled.

  
He kissed the top of Claire's head in whole hearted sympathy and with one last warning glare to Jenny he stomped away with Ian close behind for details that weren't for fit for his sister's ears.

  
\-------

  
Alone with Jenny, now in the kitchen for tea and biscuits, left Claire with slight anxiety. Jenny was more forthcoming and open to friendship the last they spoke, but then her brother hadn't spent the night in her bed and she was sure that the woman could read every detail of the nights events that were etched on her face.

 

"Now, Claire did my brother happen to keep his hands from ye long enough to tell you about Laoghaire."

  
Out of all the topics of discussion she was not expecting that.

  
"No, there were other matters that needed to be settled." Claire could feel a peek of blush heat her face at what exactly needed and still needed to be settled."But what about the girl?" She asked, mildly curious about the person who wished to see her in flames.

  
Jenny sipped her tea which she had informed Claire was a brew of nettles that had been tending to her well and good."I heard the stramash the day it happened and had her mother and grandmother set her arse on fire so she won't be sitting for a time, I can assure you of that."

  
"That was hardly necessary." Though it would have been a grand, fearsome sight to see Mrs. Fitz in a rare mood of anger.

  
"When a grown woman acts like a child ye treat her like one." Claire could hear the disdain in her voice. "Anyway, the lass was sent to her brother over at Castle Leoch, a maid she'll be to teach her humility and willna be a bother for ye."

  
"Will she be able to come back here? This is her home I wouldn't want her to be banished." That was the truth. She knew the longing of wanting a home though she couldn't deny that with Laoghaire away she could breath a bit easier.

  
"If she is truly remorseful and ask the two of ye fer forgiveness, then I see no problem."

  
"Do you even think she can?" The hurt she remembered in the girls eyes didn't sway her to think she could.

  
"I dinna ken. Wee Rabbie told me he found an illwish hiding in yer bushel when he last saw ye. It's a cruel thing to wish evil on another soul and goes against of what I kent the girl to be. Too young to be so bitter." Jenny took a long drink of tea, growing tired of talking of such ugliness and moved on to what delighted her most. The topic of her brother.

  
"So, tell me true, did my brathair at least offer ye more then a frolickin' between sheets when he led ye astray?"

  
Claire, finally relaxed enough to drink her tea choked on it, the warm liquid embarrassingly dribbling down her chin as she quickly wiped away the spittle along with any dignity she had.

  
Jenny sat unfazed. "That's a shameful waste of good tea and ye call yerself English." She clicked her tongue.

  
"It wasn't like that, I wanted him to- I mean we -" Claire was tongued tied and no answer seemed to cross her mind that she didn't fear.

  
"I kent it wasn't." Jenny assured her, seeing the lass red as a ripe cherry. "I only meant if the clotheided gommeral did ye wrong without a promise of a future I'd bash him fer ye."

  
"Oh," Claire breathed, finding the air in the room to be much more tolerable. "There's no need for that." She had that part handled fine. However, Jenny sat spoon in hand, swirling her tea round and round waiting for her to elaborate with eyes like a hawk to a mouse and Claire felt the air once again grow thin.

"Your brother," she shyly began, not knowing how much to divulge of what had passed between them,"gave me his heart full of love and promised me protection from all the wicked world around us. Your brother only honored me and most assuredly gave me a future to look forward to, Jenny." Claire could feel herself light up like the sun above, bright and heavenly talking about her Jamie. Their hearts fastened to one another like Jenny's to Ian's that she hoped the petite woman across from her could see.

Jenny let her tea be and with a smile so genuine, so resembling her brothers that Claire's heart skipped a beat, she pushed the tray of untouched biscuits her way.

"Good."

 

\------

Jamie returned to Claire in spirits high. His wavy locks were dampened from wash with strong wafts of florals, clean shaven and he was dressed in his good shirt and kilt that had her gaze locked in admiration. Quite the Laird. After they ate and seeing all was well with her and his sister, Jamie took Claire out for a walk.

"Don't you have chores to do or have I turned you into a disreputable Laird?" Her arms were wrapped around his waist, his around her shoulder holding her securely to him. It made for slow walking but they rather fall on their arses then part for a second longer.

"Nay, field work can wait with quarter day tomorrow, gave the lads a day of rest and drink."

  
"How much drink did you give them?" Too much and she would have a line of men out her door in drunken states of busted lips and gouges from buffoonery.

  
"Enough to make them croon in sweet tones of frogs." He chuckled." We have the day you and I to do as we please."

They walked a steady pace that Claire had thought aimless until she felt Jamie's pull to steer her his way.

"So where are we going? If it's to that 'bonny' spot beneath the trees I'll race you to it." Claire gave him a proper wink and Jamie's ears pinked.

"We're no' going to the trees - weel, perhaps afterwards if all goes to plan. Maybe directly where we stand. I canna tell wi' ye at times whether I should shield my bawls or have ye gra -"

  
"What are you babbling on about?" Claire stopped their stroll and stood in front of him. "What's your scheme to get me standing in my shift?"

  
"Dinna tease me, Sassenach." Jamie pinched her rear, sure to become a habit and she retaliated with one deeply ingrained in her.

"It was something Ian said to me the other day." Jamie said slightly out of breath as he thumbed his lower lip now sure to swell, "It took shape in my mind as I ran to ye that night. Then when ye told me all yer heart, let me hold ye in my arms, I knew. Knew, I wanted ye more then anything in all my life. I woke this morn' upset that I hadna thought it myself." Seeing as he was still talking daft by the furrowed brow creased in confusion, or maybe in unwillingness to believe the true sincerity singing in his words, Jamie decided to be direct.

 

"I was going to take ye out to where we met. I would take ye to the spot where I stood dazed, convinced ye were a fairy or some rare creature from stories of old. I had never seen such beauty. Still haven't." Jamie took both of her small hands into his own, engulfing them, stilling the tremble with warmth and laying them on his chest, over his heart.

 

  
"I would take ye by the hand, like now and ask ye to marry me. But I canna just yet." Claire flinched hard, and made to remove herself from his grasp but his hands were crushing her almost painfully to him, like his words to her heart, refusing to release her. Jamie's face held no cruelty or humor, in fact she couldn't read anything but his desperate want.

  
"Why?" The word strained in her throat nearly shattering her.

  
"Ye ken ye've never said it back, Sassenach? How can I marry a woman if I dinna ken her intentions." In any other time Claire would've slapped him for nearly causing her to bleed inwardly. She planned to later with force for he damn well knew how she felt. But her heart and soul were ready and yearning for true completion as his was. To speak words that didn't seem hardly enough.

 

"I love you very much, James Fraser. Every horrid, wonderful, beautiful thing about you I can't do without. All my soul I give to you. Always." Their faces so close Claire felt his warm breath that he had been holding go free against her cheeks now wet with tears, and the cold shudder of anxiety leaving his body as he leaned into hers, sharing each other's strength to not crumple to their knees

 

"Thank God," Jamie breathed in relief as he pressed his forhead to hers. He didn't doubt her love but to hear the words spoken from her lips bursted his heart anew with absolute devotion and freedom to ask a very important question.

  
"Will you have me as yer husband, Claire Beauchamp?" His words fierce in love, "For I am yours and want nothing more then to marry ye." His blue eyes shone bright in fathomless love that held her amber ones beaming with utter joy.

 

"Yes, James Fraser, I will marry you." The words were barely out of her mouth before Jamie closed the gap between them. Again and again until stars filled their eyes in the light of day and they burned to the very bone consumed.

 

  
Claire was right after all, there would be an engagement announced on quarter day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the last person to thank is actually another outlander fanfic writer. I made a comment on her fic about how much I loved her writing and how I coudn't write worth a sqaut (so articulate). She wrote back saying why not try it for myself. So after awhile when I needed a way to vent I did. Then I went insane and posted it and here we are. I'm not giving out her name because I wouldn't force anyone to read my gobblidook (I'm pretty sure she doesn't know this fic even exists) but I must give all the thanks to her and her kindeness.
> 
> Also like she did for me if you have a story you want tell, go for it. It's crazy and insane and stressful but Jamie and Claire make it worth it.
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REAL QUICK:  
> I tweaked the last chapter a bit and if you're not too busy I would like to know your thoughts on the little changes to it to see if I made it better or not. Thank you!!

 

 

"We are to be married, my lady Claire and I."

Most had cheered while others groaned at being on the losing side of a bet and a few, a precious few, as predicted held their prejudice closer still. All in all, they were both met with open arms, warm toasts of congratulations and words that would have escaped Claire's understanding if not for the hue of red spreading on Jamie's face.

A happy day indeed surpassed only by their marriage where the final act of devotion was made.

Vows made true with the spill of blood.

Vows of love sealed with a deafening kiss.

For two years it was a marriage where one tested the other past the limits of sanity of the mind and flesh. Both fevered with an overwhelming intensity that always tied their souls closer still. Heartstrings forever tangled in knots never to be severed.  
  
A marriage of abundant tenderness and strength when tested.

And it was tested.

Not so much the disaster that had plagued their lives before, but one that sunk deep and sterile almost like a poison.

________

Presently

  
It was a hot day, unusual for Scotland.

Claire was outdoors busying herself in her garden, much larger now, with rows and rows of lavender, foxglove, sorrel and the like growing in droves. Even the tormentil had a special place all it's own. The vast array of her beloved plants had been bestowed upon her as sweet tokens of love, though more often then not, as reparations for when animals with the temperament of brimstone tracked or chewed away with glee.

She loaded her basket with bits of this and that, ready for drying or jarring, brushing up against a bush of chamomile flowers absentmindedly, her thoughts elsewhere high in the clouds and out in the fields.

She walked back to her surgery, another gift, no longer housing a lonely, broken man inside it's walls. It was a proper place of healing no longer cramped into a kitchen. Completely redone with only _'minor'_ complaints from top to bottom with not a crack or a leak in sight, for the time being at least. It had also at times doubled as a sanctuary from the bustle of Lallybroch and it's many inhabitants of wee darling Murrays run amuck.

Inside, Claire had the doors and windows open to let what little sparse breeze in. Beads of dew collected on her brow, her hair was coming out of it's ties frizzing wildly from the humidity clouding her eyes and annoying her as she set herself to work. Or so she thought.

She sighed, her body immediately relaxing as she felt soft puffs of air along her flushed skin leaving patches of goosebumps in its wake, cooling and distracting her from the task at hand. Smiling, Claire outstretched her arm to swat the assailant but he caught her easily, gathering her close against him.

Golden in complexion and hair a fiery gleam that rivaled the sun, he smelled of hay and his own male musk laced in sweat as he kissed her cheek. Lips hot and wet. The duality of sensation giving her a shiver.

"Do ye have a chill, Sassenach?" Her husband, her Jamie, breath like steam against her face as he nuzzled his teasing smile in the tender place at the crook of her neck. The contact making her already tempered body rise further from his natural inner hearth melting her into a soggy mess. She was thoroughly torn between the urge to throttle him or to throttle him.

A constant dilemma with him.

"I feel like a bloody puddle and you are not helping matters." Claire was wilting in Jamie's embrace that had enclosed her with the very breadth of himself yet made no move to push him away. Not now when she was sure he came at her hearts beckoning, so intuned they were to one another.

  
"I couldna help it," Jamie chuckled apologetically as he plucked a petal that adorned her like a fairy crown, "I saw ye standing there wi' yer hair curling 'round yer face and ye cursing them to the devil and it got me thinking."

"If it's to shear this mass of chaos off my blistering head I'll pass you the scissors, gladly." Claire scrunched her face and drove a hand to her pinned hair where flyaways were breaking free and almost more stifling then the Scot wrapped around her.

"Dinna joke, mo nighean donn, that heap of fright is verra precious to me." Before she could protest his particular endearments Jamie replaced her hand with his own, dirtied from work. He smoothed the brown curls away from her face and kissed the coating of wet giving her a glow down her temple, cheeks, and lips now stained in red and salt.  
  
"Now, as I was saying," Jamie continued, breathy with a satisfied grin as he dragged his long roughened fingers down her neck leaving a stinging trail of want on her skin, to the graceful rise of her breasts making her belly tight in need. "I canna decide whether I like yer bonny hair up where I can see yer skin like white velvet, or when it's down and I can bury my face in yer curls sae soft while I take ye."

The image of Jamie buried deep inside searing her within as he drew a continuous pattern of delicate play on her skin was maddening. As was the innocent tug of a smile on his lips tempting her to give in right then and there on the table. Or floor. He wasn't a picky man.

Nor was she.

"Bolt the door and find out."

"Aye," he replied, gaze filled with blatant lust at the slope of breast painted with the loveliest shade of blush he'd seen, surely spreading past her bodice and down, down,"Tis been done."

Ever the gentlemen thinking ahead.

Kilt and skirt, shirt and shift bellowed down and around them in a flurry as they tumbled aimlessly from tabletop, to wall, to bed in each others arms.

  
\---------

  
They laid together despite the simmering heat around and of their own creation. Claire at length atop Jamie's muscular frame, sighing in utter satisfaction into his broad chest as the springy red hairs and their mingled scents tickled her nose. Every inch of herself enjoying the solid strength of him that still lingered within her in rippling shocks that matched his own as he slowly came to, his body twitching under her.

With unhurried movement, Jamie's hands that laid at her shoulders slunk down to her sides, stroking every bump of rib before going lower still. His weighted hand rested at the small of her back, the heat of it easing her strained muscles. The other gave its affection to the large swell of flesh he couldn't help but grasp, giving it a light squeeze in approval for it's service.

Claire grinned and pinched Jamie's side that he reciprocated in kind, mercilessly.

"Should we head back to the big house or -" Claire reared up and rolled her hips to his in query.

Jamie in answer, took full hold of her arse with both hands and arched upward against her eliciting a delicious smile. He flipped her over earning him a shriek so they were side by side, a rush of a much needed breeze from an open window, practically brisk, giving them a delightful shudder.

"Too many hours between now and dark to no' have ye properly again." Jamie's voice was a low rumble against her lips as he stroked her thigh that was hitched over his bringing her flush to him.

"There was nothing proper about what we did." Her hands at his chest crossed up to a crescent mark already colored in blues and purple near his neck. "I think your exact words were, ' _Faster, damn ye!"_ Claire snickered, remembering the look of pleasurable agony as he writhed beneath her.

"Weel, I had ye panting awful bouts of blasphemy."

"You groan like a man with a terrible case of piles."

"Did ye forget yer squeaking?"

"Did you forget your begging?"

Eyes locked in a stalemate that cracked with laughter.

"Weel, it's a wonder why ye let me touch you at all, Sassenach." His voice tender now as his open palm found her soft breast, heavy and warm, more then fit to fill his hand as he thumbed her nipple till it raised. With quickening breath Claire laid her hand on his and brought it down past her hips seeking the part of her where she was akin to the finest silk.

"I must thank the Lord for blessing me with such a rare woman?" Jamie leaned in to capture her mouth with his but felt her body tense and halt his hands descension.

Claire's already racing heart was now pounding like a raging drum in her ear. Brown eyes searched his blue ones that held such reverence for her to make her feel faint. The moment was now. A decision made and Claire pressed his hand to lay it flat on her stomach.

"Do you truly believe that? Wouldn't ask for more? To pray for it?"

  
Claire had prayed.

Everytime her courses came that left her shattered.

Every month that passed, another failure in blood that may as well be from her own heart reminded her of what she could never have or offer him.

A suffering so profound she was convinced it was another shadow sneaking it's way in retribution, to snatch happiness away once more.

Jamie had found her in such a state crumpled and sickly pale with silent cries of despair that heaved her small frame into frantic shakes. He had kneeled at her feet prying her hands away from her face till she revealed her woes to him.

"Wife alone, you are family enough for me," he had told her, clasping her hands near painful between his large ones infusing them in warmth, "As I hope I am to you."

Seeing Jamie's anguish over his own shortcomings had her in panic.

"You are, Jamie." Claire had reassured him. "You've always been but this -" her shoulders slumped forward to him in exhaustion, their hands at her belly "I don't know how much more I can handle."

"Then cast all your ache unto me, mo chridhe, I can bare it all. I promised ye as much before we marrit, no harm, no misfortune will ever touch us as long as we both breathe."

Till their spirits shall be done. And now…

  
Now, her eyes were aglow with rich amber of gilded light. The sprig of life that had been slowly growing hollow had returned.

"What have you been keeping from me, my Sassenach?" He caressed her navel with his thumb. Smiling. Expectant. Knowing.

Claire sat up like a rod pulling Jamie with her gripping her trembling fingers into his arms.

"How long have you known?"

"As many times as I've had yer body - did ye no' think I was payin' attention?"

"I barely was. I'd put it out of my mind, I couldn't bare it. Then this morning..." Claire's eyes filled with tears, her voice barely above a whisper at the beauty of the possibility no longer a dream. "I - it's been more then a few weeks, and I know it's too soon, anything could happen -"

"Aye, we could have two or three our first try," he stated with absolute certainty that had them both beaming.

"You ridiculous man," she spoke, drawing him nearer to caress his face," I knew you would be pleased."

"Christ, Claire, I feel as proud as a stallion yet I can scarcely breathbut know this,"Jamie held her fiercely to him where she could feel the rapid rise of his chest and the forceful beat of his heart." I love you more not for carrying our child but how the shine is back in yer eyes."

"Yours too. A radiant pair of parents we are, will be. "

He went wide eyes at the word. Parents. In just a few months time. A wee bairn all their own.

He could read her face as the thought crossed her mind.

They kissed each other slow and fast. Mixed with laughter, loud and joyous.

Their kisses dissolved into Jamie showering her body with love, Claire's hands threaded in his waves of sun cradling him to where their hearts we're aligned. She could feel the gentle burr of his soul as he bestowed their love to the promise of their blood and bone and together they wept in happiness.

No longer just the two, but maybe three or four they would be. Maybe even more then that.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END.  
> *wipes sweat*
> 
> I had a tough time with the phrasing, wording, emotions and dialogue (everything) in this chapter so if it's wonky or you see where I can improve on something tell me. I was a little out of my depth on this.
> 
> Also, I've been playing with the idea of revising this story ( I did so with the last chapter). The first half was written with the intention of this being a short story so it feels rushed to me. While the back half was me trying to fix a plot hole that I ended up not even doing (BJR wasn't dead). Just fleshing out the missing parts really. But it wont be for a while if I choose to do it so if you like the story as is then save it now if you like.
> 
> As always thank you all for supporting me on this crazy journey. I couldn't have it done it without you.

**Author's Note:**

> I never written anything at all in my life so I have no idea if this sucks or not. But I've had a bunch of Outlander stories in my head and decided to take the plunge. I only decided on this story because it had a title and an opening sentence (I still dislike both) but I'm second guessing the story I've laid out so if any readers out there have any thoughts on what you would like to see feel free to give it. 
> 
> Tell me if this story is good, bad, terrible or if by chance you like it I would love to read your comments. Again I've never written anything (I'm terrified to even post this) so constructive criticism is welcome.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
